No shame..

One of hubby's relative had observed Gangaur fast this year. We along with many other women were invited to take part in the pooja.

After Pooja, it was lunch time and as usual we women directed ourselves to the kitchen. Being around the stove for too long, the heat was taking a toll on me. So I decided to sit down and roll puris instead.

Just as me and my sister in law started, a cute little girl walked up to us and asked for the dough ball. I asked her why she wanted it, she said I want to make puris. Her grandmother and mother looked at her in awe, praising her as she sat next to me to roll puris with a rolling pin that was way bigger than her 2 year old hands.

I wondered, why wasn't there any boy walking up to us and say I want to make puris? What made this cutie leave her playmates and come to us? I looked around and knew just why.

The kitchen was filled with ladies except for just 2 men who served the other men who were having lunch.

From chopping to frying, kneading dough to making puris, heating curries, setting plates and even picking up dishes after eating, everything was being managed by women. The men came, sat, joked, laughed, ate, washed their hands and had a great time. 

We had to be content meeting each other, talking in the kitchen and getting some time out while we ate and our mother in laws served.

It's not the boys fault to think that kitchen is not their place to be when there are literally no men in the kitchen at such occasions. 

Cherith usually asks me, why do you always say I have to cook food, make chapatis, I have to wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, I have to wash/ dry/ fold clothes, press them;  whenever I ask you to play? You are always busy, you never play with me, he complains.

He is right I used to think but now I realize he is half right. Everything's not my job after all, but do I let others do it?

So since yesterday I agreed to play with him, if he helped me with 'my work'. The sooner I finish, more play time we have. Voila! Playtime is his motivation to offer to help me.

Why blame the men always? We women are the ones who say, please don't bother, I'll do it. We not only go out of our ways, but sometimes even push our limits as we continue to carry out our daily duties irrespective of the time, going against our will and even ignoring our health many times.

I agree that we have been conditioned to be hands on, not only for our children but for everyone in the family. But now is the time to change that. I confess that I never asked hubby to help me in the kitchen, I'd serve hot food to everyone first and sit down to eat in the end, getting up every time I had to fetch something.

Now, that has changed. I call out for him or cherry and ask them to pass on anything that I forget to take. Why am I not entitled to have a peaceful meal after working for hours?

Let's not be ashamed to communicate that basic life skills have no gender. Cooking, doing dishes and laundry, cleaning the house, driving, taking care of elderly and children; none of these are gender particular roles. It's time for us women to become shameless and change the thought without the guilt of who thinks what. 

I have no shame in letting my husband make his tea or dry his towel. I have no shame in letting cherith wash his clothes or his plate after eating. I have no shame in asking for help when I need it.

I have no shame in trying my best to make him a person that doesn't depend on others for food, laundry or cleaning when he grows up..

GOD BLESS!!

CHEERS!