I am experiencing peculiar wrist pain in my right hand since last 10 days.. Peculiar because it is not constant (comes and goes as it wills), its omnipresent (its there but I don't feel it at times and sometimes it's just unbearable).
So I felt extreme pain last night and early this morning (I could feel pain even in my sleep) and despite taking extra help from my left hand, my right wrist seems to have decided to protest.
I have been using my left hand all day. From doing laundry to cleaning, kneading dough to fluffing chapatis, cooking and mixing, my left hand proved to be a saviour today. And for whatever tasks I used it, my left hand would have been slow but it was just and efficient and my right.
After Maa left us, a few thoughts, questions rather keep popping in my mind every now and then. How does papa wake up every morning, how does he continue to smile and keep going, how does he go to sleep at night knowing that the one he spent 45 years with, the one he made a beautiful family with is not around anymore.
Come to think of it, I am petrified at the thought of having to spend a day without hubby. But I guess today my left hand has answered few of these unanswered questions for me.
Maa may have been the driving force, the one that kept us all glued together all her life. She has always been the dominant one. Papa was the non dominant one, only watching and listening and giving opinions only when needed.
Of course the decision making was mutual but he never had to worry about the zillion little things in her presence. And now he has taken forefront and I'm amazed at how well he is trying to balance it all out.
The one more thing that I realized is how we casually underestimate the significance of our non dominant hand. Similar to how underrated homemakers are in society at large.
I mean they are always there, they manage and micromanage every little chore and still hold least value generally. Do Homemakers like myself have to prove our worth only by going out there and earning, or working from home?
I am totally in favour of financial independance but does that alone mark as a measure of our importance? I want to confess here that I am fighting a battle with myself since past few months. One of the reasons being - I'm a homemaker.
When someone ever called me a housewife, it felt like a silent insult. I was trying to analyze my worth using various parameters, scrutinizing myself each day. What I failed to realize is that my mother, aunts, grandmothers have spent their lives at home taking care of children and relationships.
We are the more educated lot, yes and we have many more ways of existing. But when we decide to be at home, it's our choice. And definitely not an easy one as we are on duty without pay and holiday.
So taking the most important lesson from my left hand (the non-dominant one). I am not going to traumatize myself anymore. I am not going to put myself under my own microscope in anticipation of finding my worth.
I am at peace with being just a homemaker. I am at peace with being the non-dominant one. No matter who sees my worth, I know what I am worthy of. I love writing and will continue to do that unapologetically..
Also, its amazing how the Non-Dominant ones can be just as adept and can accomplish the unimaginable when put to test. We have come across many such inspiring stories through cinema and news. Look out for them for they hold hidden power. The power that can change traditions, mindsets, course of lives and the world.
Cheers to the non- dominant ones!
CHEERS TO HOMEMAKERS!
GOD BLESS!!
CHS
