Creation of Truth!

Hmm.. Intriguing title!

Truth is truth, can it ever be bent or tampered with?? No (we are told). And here I'm talking about Creation of Truth!

After Mr. Harper Lee, Mr. Mark Manson keeps me glued to his work - The subtle art of not giving a F*ck.

I have read it half and started writing this because I came across something very hard to believe.

Apparently our brain has the ability to create memories and sometimes we believe that those things in our created memories have actually happened.

It was because of this phenomena that brains of a lot of people created horrible memories of abuse by male members of their family which led to many lawsuits, many going to prison and in all families getting ruined.. This happened in the 1980's when repressed memory therapy was in practice. 

Life dissatisfaction, sensational news and a need to feel a victim to avoid responsibility were all combined in the brains and served as shocking revelations of abuse. Abuse that never happened but knitted by the brain in a way that made the woman believe it is true.

We all are given values and information since childhood. There are barely any gray areas, mostly everything is black and white, wrong and right. Our brains always try to make sense of the current situations based on what we have experienced or based on what we believe is true.

Also we have good and bad relationships with people. The ones we share a good rapport with, are always associated with good memories and vice versa with the others. That is the reason we tend to blame a person for things that he or she might not be responsible for.

It kind of feels comforting to us to say that it is his or her fault while in truth the concerned person might not even be remotely connected to the truth (the one that we believe).

This just a small example from our daily lives. But, imagine how our brain works. I wonder if we could ever measure the true power of our brain!

It can literally make us believe things, curate memories depending on what our mind needs at that particular time. Unconscious desires, current scenario, past experiences and a want to be a part of the (talked about) crowd are the key ingredients to the recipe of this unknown, inexperienced false memory.

Mr. Mansion says perhaps we should trust ourselves less because our hearts and minds are unreliable. Questioning our intentions and motivations more is the answer.

So beware of what you believe to be true, beware of who you think is good or bad, beware of your own memories however pleasing and comforting they are;

your brain might be misleading you.

What we must do for a stress free life, a life where we are capable of tackling challenges is to go by logic. Act according to the situation, express ourselves, own our mistakes and blunders, not to have expectations from dear ones (it burdens relationships) and never be hard on ourselves.

Lets help our brains declutter so even if they have to create memories, they are good ones. The ones that make us and other happy rather than one's that create mountains of troubles to everyone around us.

I hope you had a great festive season. Here's wishing you immense happiness, good health and prosperity in the new year!!

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!! 

CHS

Relationship status...

I hope you are having a great time during the festivities given the fact that celebrations are getting back to normal post the covid waves. The social and emotional distances reducing and relationships viewed with a clearer lens..

Talking about relationships, I came across an interestingly informative writeup in the TOI this morning. It revolved around the judgements on our relationships.

It was not only gripping but was positively enlightening. As a matter of fact, our High courts and Supreme court not only recognize changing relationships but also rule in favour of and against issues that are ever existant and never acknowledged.

I would love to share some excerpts here but I would recommend you read article 'Our lordships on our Relationships' on page 13 today. As I said in the article 'To Kill a Mockingbird' - start reading today. This is my effort to push you further in that direction. 😉

Coming back to the judgments, the article covered a few cases relating to child custody, divorce, kidnapping, family benefits and marital rape.

For a very long long time, women rights, familial responsibilities and romantic relationships (irrespective of them being intercaste/ inter religion / same sex) have been viewed with a biased lens.

Moreover change has always been unwelcome. Whether a girl wants to take care of her family after marriage or a boy wants to live with his wife's family. Whether a woman is pressurised to have children or a mother wants to give a child her surname. Whether an unmarried woman wants to have / not have a child or a son chooses a homo partner.

Society at large has only been working on its own convenience. So when an outsider forces a woman, its rape while the one she has married is considered to have all rights in her (which I fail to understand). Isn't it totally an individual's choice??

One of the judges on another case was noted saying "The veil of social morality cannot be used to violate fundamental rights" and the writer ended the article saying "when will the misogynist veil for marital rape be struck down similarly".

A crime is a crime and what is fair is fair. So most of the people would call me a feminist but I am of the view that every injustice against women and men is injustice to humanity. They fail to understand that it is only fair to give a person basic respect and freedom to make his/her choices. Whether it is choice of clothing or choice of partner, choice of adoption or abortion, choice of supporting family or partner's career.

People being trolled, judged, traumatized for their choices, people being used for person benefit, people being hurt with words and actions leading to mental issues like anxiety, depression and the like. I am aghast at plight of relationships all around me. 😞

So many relations heading towards a dead-end majorly because of lack of due respect, attention, care and love. We know that life is short so let's not let ourselves get used or use anyone for our gain. We may not like and love everyone but let's not have hard and bad feelings for anyone. Whatever be our relationship status, let not forget to give ourselves and the other person dignity in all aspects.

Wishing you a very positive festive season!

CHEERS!!

GOD BLESS!

CHS