Financial crisis...

I have always told you about the good things in my life. Here's giving you an insight of some self depreciating issues I have to handle.. Me and self depreciating? Is that even true??

So I am independent in many ways, I can take my decisions, I can make choices for Cherith, I don't rely on people to pick me from or drop me to some place. (Sometimes I like it if someone does it but it's not that I can not manage alone) But I fail to fulfil the basic criteria of independence - finance.

Being a daughter and wife in the rajasthani household, I have always been dependant on either papa or hubby to fulfil financial needs. Even after wedding, parents have been showering with some financial love (Pehla sharavan, gift for Rakhi, birth of cherith, siblings wedding return gift, holiday, tapasya, their reasons never end)

Honestly I am bitter towards these traditions that make a daughter feel financially vulnerable even after marriage. But parents never listen! They also end up giving money to Cherith for his birthday or when he goes home to stay with nani's family. More chances of futile arguments for me.

On the other hand, although I have saved a little something every now and then, I have used majority of (so called) my finances to cater to our daily needs. Clothes, footwear, (excessively for hubby and Cherith) essentials.

Coming to the equation with hubby. He says he earns for us which I think is partially true. Of course he provides for us, but we are a joint family and he can never really spend according to his likes. (Need for information sharing and approval hinders desision making many times).

So he takes care of the basics along with cherith's school expenses. Medical expenses include themselves without asking. But here's the thing, I never feel complete security in terms of finances.

Like if I was in need of finances to do something for me/ hubby/ cherith, I am dependant. And it's very very stupid to ask your hubby to pay the birthday or anniversary surprise you are planning for him.

Also sometimes its hurtful (more shameful) when I have to ask him. I'm a strong headed girl that way but I am sensitive too. And it is more insulting when he ignores what I'm thinking or saying (in terms of money)

I mean sometimes I just want to tell him that I have known a person called 'Father' who slogged all his life to make life comfortable for his wife and 4 children. We weren't living in a house that had a tree that shed notes every morning. So I know the hardwork needed and I know the value of money. But chances are that I am misunderstood, so I don't bother with the explanation.

Moreso, I don't understand how I can think of whatever my hubby earns as mine? What he earns is his and he will have a say in how to use it. You'd say "It's your right!" but I never come to terms with that statement.

I remember Chetan once saying that no matter how much we work, the amount of energy, dedication and the sheer amount of effort a lady takes to be a homemaker can not be measured. They literally take care of every little and big thing. If we could put it in monetary terms, we could never pay them enough.

I know I know, blessed to have a brother who thinks that way, but do all men think that way? Half the men don't even acknowledge the presence of homemakers. Supporting them is out of question.

So irrespective of a girl being single, married, young or old, I feel financial independence is what all of us should try to achieve. Financial crisis is something we should never face (mostly in our heads). 

Imagine the feeling of eating pani puri with the money you have earned. Or even buy your favourite bag or buy a gift for your spouse or child (if you earn a little more) or send your parents on a vacation (if you income fills balance sheets and you are eligible to pay taxes; meaning your finances are rocking)

Coming back to reality, I'm trying to find some work for myself (apart from the one I'm doing 24/7 already). The hunt is on but its not to prove anything to anyone. Its just to be more productive and extra happy for myself along with the other good things God has blessed me with.

How I wish I should've started way before. May be after college or even after cherith was a manageable child. But, better late than never.

Wish me luck!

CHEERS!! 

GOD BLESS! 

CHS

First ever!

So I'm off to Rajasthan with my in-law family for some religious ceremony. We are a herd of 25 people travelling by train, in sleeper class, with 5 most well behaved children (pun intended). 

Few hours into the journey and some uniquely exquisite things caught my attention.

First and foremost, more than half the people at the station are not travelling. Number of people at a train station are equal to actual number of passengers * number of people who have come to drop those who are travelling. We Indians find it boring to just come alone, wait for the train, board it and leave. 

Real fun is, have 4 or more people come to drop two or less people, run for water and biscuits at the last moment, exchange take cares for half an hour and wave at each other until the train leaves the platform. 

There are also a few special cases who board the train without the intention of travel and jump off it when they realize it has started moving. Chances of accident for sure, but what have you actually done in life if not got off a moving train?

Second, the railways has increased seat numbers from 72 to 80. Good one on the extra capacity. Only bad thing is we being alloted those last numbers, leaving us placed from 73 to 80. We were forced to be vigilant of our baggages since we aren't able to sleep because of the staunch smell emenating from nearby toilets.

Coming to point number 3. The less spoken about and most experienced - toilets. I feel, it would have been wonderful if toilets had automated locks. Like the ones that can be locked from inside but opens only when you have flushed. A lot of poor souls like us could save our screaming noses.

Four, people who board at stations in the middle of the night, do not bother about people who are asleep. So these 4 fellows boarded and occupied nearby seats at 5.40 am kept chattering constantly. When my irritated hubby asked them to let us sleep, one of them comments "Ab sleeper mein toh awaaz aayegi hi". Their mantra is - why let others sleep when we have spoilt our sleep?

Fifth point us one for the youth. Usually we are so carefree while using internet, thanks to WiFi. But when we are travelling, we become stingy. Switch the mobile data on, check messages and switch it off. No posts, no reels, no movies (if not previously downloaded). I wish the railway stations have free WiFi for passengers.

I'm writing this on at Miraj Station where the train has got us 1 hour before time. While hubby is anxious if the food we ordered will reach us before we leave, I am hoping I get access to some free WiFi.

We are a big group, scattered in 3 different coaches. We have kids and elderly. Despite having reserved tickets, a confused lot without tickets stampeded the coaches. So there are literally 10 people peeping while we are brushing your teeth. 

Last point is more like a wish. Here's hoping that maybe someday trains would have automatic open and shut doors just like the metro. Those with tickets could flash their cards at the coach door which will identify the tickets and themselves to the valid seat owners. 

Too much hope for a small journey you think? Well, dream big so one day it turns to reality.. Wondering why the title that doesn't relate?? Well this is the first ever article where it's tried to be sarcastically funny.. Let me know how I did.

So while I'm on this half traumatic and half dramatic train journey, I wish to have some good memories to take back from it. Also wishing you have some great journeys in the second half of this year too...

P. S : Posting this from Hubbali Junction on the return journey. Happy to be back home soon. 🙂

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS