Mind the gap...

How many of us have had issues regarding studies, play, food and entertainment of our kids? 

I can hear your mind say a yes. 

Were these issues aggravated during the lock-down? The yes was much louder this time. 

It is needless to say that parenting comes with different challenges everyday. You'd also agree that normal days have ceased to exist after we become parents. Of course it is beautiful but is it that way always? While fathers are trying their best to maintain a balance between work and family, the job is a lot more tedious for mothers. (Please don't roll you eyes men, this is not about mothers and motherhood).

This one is about the gap we have between us and our children. The gap that most of us don't acknowledge. This is highlighted when I see kids subject to the following lines.

• You have all the facilities and privileges. We did not have any of these.
• You get whatever you want, we had to wait for months before we got anything we asked for.
• You make your own choices, we did what was told.
• We played inexpensive games, wore non branded clothes and ate what was served without fuss.
• The children of this generation are spoiled.

I confess that its not just the grandparents, a few of us as parents have also used these. Maybe because we think giving them an insight of our childhood will make them responsible and accountable, better behaved and thankful. I may have thought the same way a few months ago, not anymore.

The stages of human growth have been segregated as infants, toddlers, teenagers, adults and old age. But on an intricate level, our children grow in different phases. For example, I have seen Cherith grow fond of things he never liked and weary of things he loved. It would be wrong to say that's how kids are.

I remember we were called sharp kids by our ancestors. But I also feel that they were somehow more accepting, accommodating(in their capacity) and non compelling. I never faced any pressure as a child. There was no pressure to secure the first place, take part in competitions or be a part of sports. We would say that was lack of encouragement but when I look back, I can say that it was a comfortable childhood.

Of course we were competing in class, but my parents never told me that I had to achieve a certain something. Taking part in activities and sports was all by our own will and our parents were just as happy and as loving with or without the trophies and medals.

The amenities and facilities are far better now. Look back and you'll see that ours' were better than our previous generations and they will be better in future. We did not have much say in matters but our kids have the ability to chose for themselves. Isn't it a good thing that they can make their own decisions? Don't you think this will also make them accountable and responsible in the process?

Balloons, park, swing, top, marbles and mud... our playmates. We had toys that our parents could afford. Most of our children have never been exposed to nature and that is majorly our fault. On the other hand, the expensive games are also our giving. How are they anyway responsible? We can not blame them for the challenges we faced as kids. They have their own and our role is to prepare them. 

So,

• There is absolutely nothing wrong in telling them about your childhood. Let that be shared as a learning and not as a complain. 
  
• Let's discipline, not compel them. 
• Let's teach them to be truthful but never discourage them when it's bitter.
• The way they think is different, let's acknowledge and appreciate that. 
• If they are direct, its a good thing. They are learning to speak their minds, they will also be equipped to say no when required (something many of us still can not do).
• They have their own likes and dislikes (irrespective of their age), let's respect that.
• Let's observe them, analyze their behavior and supply suggestions only when asked for.
• Hard work, no pressure should be the home rule.
• We made mistakes and were never abandoned. Let's accept theirs and embrace them too. 
  

They are our children, our future and our dreams. Let's not forget that we are decades apart. Let's mind the gap, give them space to nurture themselves and be available to them whenever in need. After all, we can sow the seeds, but it take a while for the plants to grow, flowers to bloom and fruits to ripen. Let's trust them and make their and our lives less stressful.

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS