Meri AKANSHA....

I walked back home from school and tiredly opened the gate and saw peanut flakes all around me.

"Aaj moongfali party ho rahi hai" I thought to myself and steadily made my way up to the 4th floor. I reached and put my bag on the deewan while looking at Anita didi and Aruna didi munching peanuts and telling me "Sharmila didi ko ladki huyi..."

I was not overwhelmed as I did not know what being a mother meant but I was very very happy that I will have a playmate, a little baby to be around with. It was 24th September 1994, The day you were born. Your birth has become a lifelong moongfali memory for me.

We have had innumerable memories. I can rather say that I had a childhood because of Anju, Piyu and you. You remind me of the 10 months of the year that I waited for Summer vacations. I waited for you and Piyu to come to Bangalore, I waited to play with you all the cute and stupid games we played. We grew up and stayed distances away but trust me, the miles between us never defined the depth or strength of our bond. 

I am a mother now but I still do not know what being a mother to a daughter feels like. I did feel a mix of hundred emotions when I witnessed Piyu at the altar being garlanded. I felt happy, sad, proud, excited, nostalgic, blessed, emotional and what not. May be that's what daughters do to you. I may or may not have a daughter but if I ever were to have one, she has to be like you. 

You are beautiful inside out, you are smart, you love food just like me (we here struggle to feed kids). You are straightforward and sensitive, sensible and practical, caring and encouraging aur kya bolu....? You make me proud in so many ways.. 

Akansha means 'Wish' and you are truly a wish that everyone would want in their lives, as a daughter, sister, friend, companion, neice and now Akshayji is most blessed to have you as a partner.

Co-incidentally, the day I was born is the day that you are going to take your special vows. You will be pampered and loved, there will be people dancing with you for you, you will be dressed like a princess, a beauty and then you will walk away with him. Every corner will be lit just like your eyes light up our world and you will see people smiling everywhere but they will be nothing compared to your heartwarming smile. Your union will be celebrated and I will not be there to witness any of it. I can not say sorry for not being there at your wedding, I am missing out on far more than you know.

What I will not miss is sending you my love. I have been wanting to do something really special for your special day. So there is a little surprise on its way to you as I write and this letter is wholely and solely just for you loaded with oodles of love, best wishes, special prayers and blessings..

Consider this not only from me but from all of us, Sanu masi, Jay masa, Bhavna masi, Hemanth masa, Sonu mama, Dimple mami, your little sweethearts Cherry, Perry and Anaisha..

It's almost unbelievable to accept that my little Aku is going to married in a few days, all those years seem to flashing in front of me. My little Akansha will be stepping out of her house and stepping into a brand new life with her destined partner. May you find a good friend, an understanding companion, a fun loving spouse, a food lover, an adventurous traveller and your support system in Akshayji.

I hope, wish and pray you that your new family makes way for you in their lives and their hearts without changing you. May you get love that in unmatched because you deserve nothing less.

GOD BLESS!

Lots and lots of Love

Chinki Masi....❤

Bunty...

Chinki had a pet. A dog called bunty. She had seen him grow from a cute puppy to a well grown doberman. She was attached to her in a unique way.

They had recently shifted home and moved to a place that had more open space inside and outside the house. Bunty always stayed out in the open or in the garage.

He behaved differently after shifting. He did not eat on time, barked unnecessarily and did not sleep as he used to. All these worried Chinki.

Bunty soon fell ill and was under medication. After two days of medication he seemed to get better but he did not play with Chinki like before. One night she went out to give him his medicine only to find that he had not had the previous dose given in the evening.

"You won't get well if you don't take it" she told him, sternly yet worriedly. He grained in a bleak voice and put his head down. Chinki had to sleep early as she had school at 7.

She was fast asleep when she suddenly fell off her bed and hurt her left knee. She crawled back up and fell asleep again.

When she woke up in the morning, she realized she couldn't stand up. Her knee ached too badly. She decided she couldn't take bath, she got dressed for school and limped her way outside where her father was preparing her morning drink - bournvita.

She told him about her fall and he asked her to sit on the chair. Father got the milk and she said "Bunty did not take his medicine yesterday, may be he is not liking it diluted with the water..." she was saying.

"Bunty marr gaya" her father told her "He was too critical after midnight, we took her to the hospital but no use" he said and went back to get her tiffin.

Chinki sat there, staring at her book, tears trickling down her cheeks wondering if it was bunty who woke her up to say a final good bye in the middle of the night....

Chinki has gone through yet another successful day. 

She has answered all questions asked at school, got back from school and finished her homework. 

She has had her dinner on time and set timetable for the next day, kept her uniform pressed and shoes polished.

That's what a good day in the life of the little girl in class 4 sounds like. But today had an extra challenge for Chinki.

She had been watching the advertisement of a new horror show that was about to start. Although she hated horror shows, she was determined to watch it.

This was a result of the little monster in her head. She spent a lot of time talking to herself in her mind. People outside barely knew what she was upto. 

She was a shy introvert girl, scared to be judged and barely opened up. Only the little monster knew her fears, her strengths, her secrets and her problems.

Little monster had dared her to do this. Chinki had to watch half an hour of horror show all alone and she could not mute the show in between.

The clock struck 9 times to indicate the start of the show. She slowly walked outside the room towards the drawing room, squeezing her blanket in both hands. She picked the remote and changed the channel.

'Aaaaa Aaaaa...' The show began. She looked around but there was no one. She turned to the TV to see an old worn clock in front of an old worn haveli... It had a huge lawn that looked spooky in the light of the single lamppost located far away..

Chinki put the blanket on her head and heard footsteps approaching a girl seated on a bench near a huge tree. She covered her face to avoid being scared and just then heard a scream.

Chinki squeezed her eyes and tried to close her ears that were already holding the blanket. She dint move for five minutes and opened her eyes and took off the blanket only when she heard the sparrows chirping...

A servant was serving tea to a man seated in a lawn. He seemed disturbed and his hsbds shook as he placed the tea cup and tray of biscuits on the table. "Kya hua kaka?" asked the man. 

"Saahab, gao se chitthi aayi hai, ma beemar hai. Mujhe Jaana padega" he said in a shaky voice. 

"Arey, toh isme jhijhak kaisi?, ye lijiye kuch paise, jaiye" came the reply.

The servant took the money, turned and gave a wicked side smile looking at the camera. 'This fellow is crooked' Chinki told to little monster.

It was night again. 'How does night fall so soon?' she asked little monster. She gripped her blanket again trying to cover her eyes that stared at the TV.

This time the girl was sitting in the same place and was whispering something. The whispers grew louder as footsteps approached the bench and slash.... There was a splash of blood on the tree...

Chinki closed her eyes again and waited for the morning scene. Just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she screamed. "Don't watch it if you get scared" her father said. 

He switched the TV off and told her to go and sleep. She quietly got up wondering what had happened and whose blood it was on the tree..... 

Sharks of Time...

After two successful seasons of Covid, The third is on its way to success... You know what I mean...

While I had been able to dodge it twice, I failed this time around.. The mutations have made it more accessible and less effective I guess.

So I am in isolation and after wearing my body down for a couple of days, it started retreating with its properties just like the Pakistan army.

Thanks to the good hot food made my mom in law, the ever supporting efforts from hubby and advice by Chetan, I'd soon join them outside this room.

What did I do these 7 days? Day 1, 2 and 3 was more breakfast, medicine, steam, sleep, lunch, medicine, steam, sleep, dinner, medicine, steam, sleep; I lost track of time. Was it dawn or dusk, when hubby was coming home and when Cherith's class was getting over, I knew nothing.

I started getting better after day 4, still with mild fever and cough but I could be up for major part of the day. That is when movies and ott took over the steam and sleep portion. I also started reading but I couldn't focus after a few lines.

Then came the weekend curfew and I could hear Cherith, hubby and mummy talking, snacking, laughing, watching TV together.

Each passing minute seemed like The Sharks of Time trying to bite into my head and break me as I sat alone in this dungeon waiting to get out. I stared at the phone, my thumb would pain while scrolling through news, ads, posts, videos and movie choices and I could chose none.

I waited for the night thinking I would sleep and it would be another day in a few hours but the nights weren't less cruel either. I tumbled in bed on few nights and had nightmares on few others.

Day 6 was when I determined to stay away from screen and hence finished the book I started. And today is day 7 and I am already having new ideas for writing.

In all of this. I did not forget a few things that we all otherwise omit when we are unwell.. I prayed everyday after waking up and before sleeping. Expressing gratitude is a great attitude.

I did a little exercise everyday. Whatever my body permitted - a little stretching, few hand rotations, half squats, neck rotations. Intense exercise is not important, moving your body is.

I ate. I swear to anything you say, it was not easy as I could not swallow initially because of a sore throat but I did because I had to get better. I could not let some virus break me down. I had to restore my energy to bring the virus down.

Hygiene. I did not miss brushing twice a day, bathing, washing used clothes, cleaning the room or keeping myself tidy. I confess I had to pull myself out of bed a few times but hygiene is something I could not give up on.

I reckoned the times when Cherith was younger and used to be unwell too often. I made sure everything around him was clean. When I could do it for him, I could sure do a teeny weeny bit for myself too.

I agree many have lost their lives to the virus, many have been hospitalized and as I write this there are lakhs suffering. I am only heartily grateful for being in a better physical and emotional condition. Its because of all the love and prayers that have been with me throughout.

I extend my prayers to those who need the strength and wish for others to be safe. Let's all just remember that we as humans have outgrown and overcome many obstacles and we can win over this one too someday.

Also, its one precious life we have and being grateful, kind, helpful and empathetic are attributes bestowed upon us inherently. Let's keep them alive...

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS