Fairytale...

Just before starting this one, I went back and looked up at the older posts.. I thought I had written about this.. But I dint find anything that reflected what I have in mind right now.. So here goes..

I wrote about this one in my poems, a few writeups but it's raining all over my insta posts - Love!

Question time : Imagine you never listened to music (romantic/mushy/sad/ heartbreak songs), never watched movies (or clips that give us an idea of what love/ romance is). What would you think love is?

Fresh, cool breeze blowing at your face when he spoke. Violins playing in the background when she walked towards you. Ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte. The one who saves you from grave danger must be the one you owe your life to. Imagine if you never witnessed these things on screen. What would love mean to you?

Feelings of restlessness (love), thinking about someone always, not able to sleep at night (love), going against your family and friends for someone (love) ready to change your identity, give up all you have (love), not being able to let go even when it hurts so badly (love). Imagine you never came across songs like these. What do you think expression of love would be?

Since very tender ages, we have been shown an image of true love. The one that shows how our soulmate is/should be. How we are to create perfect moment to propose our feelings to someone.

I remember how I used to think when I was an adolescent. The one for me would take efforts and make things special. Roses, candle lights, beach, romantic music - movies have had such a dramatic influence on us.

We tend to have pathetically high parameters while measuring love while actually it can never be measured. We are led to have insane and unfair expectations from our partners that later leads to unnecessary disappointments.

The floral and musical fairytale love story is a farce but a fraud too.. Young tender hearts not only believe it but almost feel a need to live it in their lives. Anything less makes their life and relationships feel like a failure which is inappropriate.

We all believe that true love happens once in our life (this stops us from accepting love more than once), that there is someone out there made only for us (some of us spend our entire lives waiting). We are on a lookout for that one who is our soul mate (and knock on several wrong doors on the way hurting ourselves and many others). Given the already painted picture in our minds, we tend to make mistakes.

Ever been in a situation where your dear friend thinks he/she is in love with you? The one made for us is treated just as a friend. One loves another and another loves another. So much confusion ufff!!

Of course, as we grow older we not only differentiate it from the reality but also accept the truth. Reel versus real is not a  short journey but can be heartbreaking and misguiding.

The generation now is smarter and better informed but when it comes to matters of the heart aren't we all the same??? Naive, stupid and vulnerable.

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!! 

CHS

Creation of Truth!

Hmm.. Intriguing title!

Truth is truth, can it ever be bent or tampered with?? No (we are told). And here I'm talking about Creation of Truth!

After Mr. Harper Lee, Mr. Mark Manson keeps me glued to his work - The subtle art of not giving a F*ck.

I have read it half and started writing this because I came across something very hard to believe.

Apparently our brain has the ability to create memories and sometimes we believe that those things in our created memories have actually happened.

It was because of this phenomena that brains of a lot of people created horrible memories of abuse by male members of their family which led to many lawsuits, many going to prison and in all families getting ruined.. This happened in the 1980's when repressed memory therapy was in practice. 

Life dissatisfaction, sensational news and a need to feel a victim to avoid responsibility were all combined in the brains and served as shocking revelations of abuse. Abuse that never happened but knitted by the brain in a way that made the woman believe it is true.

We all are given values and information since childhood. There are barely any gray areas, mostly everything is black and white, wrong and right. Our brains always try to make sense of the current situations based on what we have experienced or based on what we believe is true.

Also we have good and bad relationships with people. The ones we share a good rapport with, are always associated with good memories and vice versa with the others. That is the reason we tend to blame a person for things that he or she might not be responsible for.

It kind of feels comforting to us to say that it is his or her fault while in truth the concerned person might not even be remotely connected to the truth (the one that we believe).

This just a small example from our daily lives. But, imagine how our brain works. I wonder if we could ever measure the true power of our brain!

It can literally make us believe things, curate memories depending on what our mind needs at that particular time. Unconscious desires, current scenario, past experiences and a want to be a part of the (talked about) crowd are the key ingredients to the recipe of this unknown, inexperienced false memory.

Mr. Mansion says perhaps we should trust ourselves less because our hearts and minds are unreliable. Questioning our intentions and motivations more is the answer.

So beware of what you believe to be true, beware of who you think is good or bad, beware of your own memories however pleasing and comforting they are;

your brain might be misleading you.

What we must do for a stress free life, a life where we are capable of tackling challenges is to go by logic. Act according to the situation, express ourselves, own our mistakes and blunders, not to have expectations from dear ones (it burdens relationships) and never be hard on ourselves.

Lets help our brains declutter so even if they have to create memories, they are good ones. The ones that make us and other happy rather than one's that create mountains of troubles to everyone around us.

I hope you had a great festive season. Here's wishing you immense happiness, good health and prosperity in the new year!!

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!! 

CHS

Relationship status...

I hope you are having a great time during the festivities given the fact that celebrations are getting back to normal post the covid waves. The social and emotional distances reducing and relationships viewed with a clearer lens..

Talking about relationships, I came across an interestingly informative writeup in the TOI this morning. It revolved around the judgements on our relationships.

It was not only gripping but was positively enlightening. As a matter of fact, our High courts and Supreme court not only recognize changing relationships but also rule in favour of and against issues that are ever existant and never acknowledged.

I would love to share some excerpts here but I would recommend you read article 'Our lordships on our Relationships' on page 13 today. As I said in the article 'To Kill a Mockingbird' - start reading today. This is my effort to push you further in that direction. 😉

Coming back to the judgments, the article covered a few cases relating to child custody, divorce, kidnapping, family benefits and marital rape.

For a very long long time, women rights, familial responsibilities and romantic relationships (irrespective of them being intercaste/ inter religion / same sex) have been viewed with a biased lens.

Moreover change has always been unwelcome. Whether a girl wants to take care of her family after marriage or a boy wants to live with his wife's family. Whether a woman is pressurised to have children or a mother wants to give a child her surname. Whether an unmarried woman wants to have / not have a child or a son chooses a homo partner.

Society at large has only been working on its own convenience. So when an outsider forces a woman, its rape while the one she has married is considered to have all rights in her (which I fail to understand). Isn't it totally an individual's choice??

One of the judges on another case was noted saying "The veil of social morality cannot be used to violate fundamental rights" and the writer ended the article saying "when will the misogynist veil for marital rape be struck down similarly".

A crime is a crime and what is fair is fair. So most of the people would call me a feminist but I am of the view that every injustice against women and men is injustice to humanity. They fail to understand that it is only fair to give a person basic respect and freedom to make his/her choices. Whether it is choice of clothing or choice of partner, choice of adoption or abortion, choice of supporting family or partner's career.

People being trolled, judged, traumatized for their choices, people being used for person benefit, people being hurt with words and actions leading to mental issues like anxiety, depression and the like. I am aghast at plight of relationships all around me. 😞

So many relations heading towards a dead-end majorly because of lack of due respect, attention, care and love. We know that life is short so let's not let ourselves get used or use anyone for our gain. We may not like and love everyone but let's not have hard and bad feelings for anyone. Whatever be our relationship status, let not forget to give ourselves and the other person dignity in all aspects.

Wishing you a very positive festive season!

CHEERS!!

GOD BLESS!

CHS

 

Financial crisis...

I have always told you about the good things in my life. Here's giving you an insight of some self depreciating issues I have to handle.. Me and self depreciating? Is that even true??

So I am independent in many ways, I can take my decisions, I can make choices for Cherith, I don't rely on people to pick me from or drop me to some place. (Sometimes I like it if someone does it but it's not that I can not manage alone) But I fail to fulfil the basic criteria of independence - finance.

Being a daughter and wife in the rajasthani household, I have always been dependant on either papa or hubby to fulfil financial needs. Even after wedding, parents have been showering with some financial love (Pehla sharavan, gift for Rakhi, birth of cherith, siblings wedding return gift, holiday, tapasya, their reasons never end)

Honestly I am bitter towards these traditions that make a daughter feel financially vulnerable even after marriage. But parents never listen! They also end up giving money to Cherith for his birthday or when he goes home to stay with nani's family. More chances of futile arguments for me.

On the other hand, although I have saved a little something every now and then, I have used majority of (so called) my finances to cater to our daily needs. Clothes, footwear, (excessively for hubby and Cherith) essentials.

Coming to the equation with hubby. He says he earns for us which I think is partially true. Of course he provides for us, but we are a joint family and he can never really spend according to his likes. (Need for information sharing and approval hinders desision making many times).

So he takes care of the basics along with cherith's school expenses. Medical expenses include themselves without asking. But here's the thing, I never feel complete security in terms of finances.

Like if I was in need of finances to do something for me/ hubby/ cherith, I am dependant. And it's very very stupid to ask your hubby to pay the birthday or anniversary surprise you are planning for him.

Also sometimes its hurtful (more shameful) when I have to ask him. I'm a strong headed girl that way but I am sensitive too. And it is more insulting when he ignores what I'm thinking or saying (in terms of money)

I mean sometimes I just want to tell him that I have known a person called 'Father' who slogged all his life to make life comfortable for his wife and 4 children. We weren't living in a house that had a tree that shed notes every morning. So I know the hardwork needed and I know the value of money. But chances are that I am misunderstood, so I don't bother with the explanation.

Moreso, I don't understand how I can think of whatever my hubby earns as mine? What he earns is his and he will have a say in how to use it. You'd say "It's your right!" but I never come to terms with that statement.

I remember Chetan once saying that no matter how much we work, the amount of energy, dedication and the sheer amount of effort a lady takes to be a homemaker can not be measured. They literally take care of every little and big thing. If we could put it in monetary terms, we could never pay them enough.

I know I know, blessed to have a brother who thinks that way, but do all men think that way? Half the men don't even acknowledge the presence of homemakers. Supporting them is out of question.

So irrespective of a girl being single, married, young or old, I feel financial independence is what all of us should try to achieve. Financial crisis is something we should never face (mostly in our heads). 

Imagine the feeling of eating pani puri with the money you have earned. Or even buy your favourite bag or buy a gift for your spouse or child (if you earn a little more) or send your parents on a vacation (if you income fills balance sheets and you are eligible to pay taxes; meaning your finances are rocking)

Coming back to reality, I'm trying to find some work for myself (apart from the one I'm doing 24/7 already). The hunt is on but its not to prove anything to anyone. Its just to be more productive and extra happy for myself along with the other good things God has blessed me with.

How I wish I should've started way before. May be after college or even after cherith was a manageable child. But, better late than never.

Wish me luck!

CHEERS!! 

GOD BLESS! 

CHS

First ever!

So I'm off to Rajasthan with my in-law family for some religious ceremony. We are a herd of 25 people travelling by train, in sleeper class, with 5 most well behaved children (pun intended). 

Few hours into the journey and some uniquely exquisite things caught my attention.

First and foremost, more than half the people at the station are not travelling. Number of people at a train station are equal to actual number of passengers * number of people who have come to drop those who are travelling. We Indians find it boring to just come alone, wait for the train, board it and leave. 

Real fun is, have 4 or more people come to drop two or less people, run for water and biscuits at the last moment, exchange take cares for half an hour and wave at each other until the train leaves the platform. 

There are also a few special cases who board the train without the intention of travel and jump off it when they realize it has started moving. Chances of accident for sure, but what have you actually done in life if not got off a moving train?

Second, the railways has increased seat numbers from 72 to 80. Good one on the extra capacity. Only bad thing is we being alloted those last numbers, leaving us placed from 73 to 80. We were forced to be vigilant of our baggages since we aren't able to sleep because of the staunch smell emenating from nearby toilets.

Coming to point number 3. The less spoken about and most experienced - toilets. I feel, it would have been wonderful if toilets had automated locks. Like the ones that can be locked from inside but opens only when you have flushed. A lot of poor souls like us could save our screaming noses.

Four, people who board at stations in the middle of the night, do not bother about people who are asleep. So these 4 fellows boarded and occupied nearby seats at 5.40 am kept chattering constantly. When my irritated hubby asked them to let us sleep, one of them comments "Ab sleeper mein toh awaaz aayegi hi". Their mantra is - why let others sleep when we have spoilt our sleep?

Fifth point us one for the youth. Usually we are so carefree while using internet, thanks to WiFi. But when we are travelling, we become stingy. Switch the mobile data on, check messages and switch it off. No posts, no reels, no movies (if not previously downloaded). I wish the railway stations have free WiFi for passengers.

I'm writing this on at Miraj Station where the train has got us 1 hour before time. While hubby is anxious if the food we ordered will reach us before we leave, I am hoping I get access to some free WiFi.

We are a big group, scattered in 3 different coaches. We have kids and elderly. Despite having reserved tickets, a confused lot without tickets stampeded the coaches. So there are literally 10 people peeping while we are brushing your teeth. 

Last point is more like a wish. Here's hoping that maybe someday trains would have automatic open and shut doors just like the metro. Those with tickets could flash their cards at the coach door which will identify the tickets and themselves to the valid seat owners. 

Too much hope for a small journey you think? Well, dream big so one day it turns to reality.. Wondering why the title that doesn't relate?? Well this is the first ever article where it's tried to be sarcastically funny.. Let me know how I did.

So while I'm on this half traumatic and half dramatic train journey, I wish to have some good memories to take back from it. Also wishing you have some great journeys in the second half of this year too...

P. S : Posting this from Hubbali Junction on the return journey. Happy to be back home soon. 🙂

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS

The Letter.

Chandni stood at the end an old, rusty looking wooden bridge. The sound of the water below was loud making her feet shake. Her mind drifted to her meeting an hour earlier. 

She entered the small cafe that had a rather big garden outside and very little seating space inside. 4 rosewood tables were set out with chairs making it a very intimate place. 

She found Dev waiting for her sitting by the white French windows with bright yellow curtains.

“Hi" he tried to be cordial.

“Why did you called me here?” blurted Chandni. 

"Sorry to have called you like this--

“Spare the sweet talk and come to the point” she said dismissing the waiter heading their way. 

“Okay. So. You know. I uh. You can. I know. The letter”  he said finally.

Chandni's face turned pale. She composed herself hoping that Dev hadn't her expression change. How could he have known she thought. 

“Wh! What letter?” she said outside. 

"The one that Simran's body was found with. The one that was written in blood, signed by--

“ Shh. Okay. What about it?”

“I'd be asking What do you want?, if I were you” 

Chandni's eyes were red now but there was also a stream of sweat trickling down her spine. She was trying to think on her feet. 

She was about to say something when Dev's phone rang.

“What? Where?” he exclaimed while hurriedly walking out of the cafe gesturing Chandni that he would get in touch with her again.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she ran out of the cafe the next moment.

She was dragged to the present by the scary sounds of the water.

How could she have done what she had? 

The question resonated so loud in her head that she forgot about her Aquaphobia, closed her eyes, covered her ears with her hands and walked straight ahead. 

There was a splash followed by bubbles coming from the water now. After sometime the bubbles stopped.

 

To Be Continued...

 

CHS

To Kill A Mockingbird.

You know I'm a Writer.

Everybody else thinks that I'm a privileged homemaker who cooks, tends to family and is left with enormous amount of time to do nothing.

I cant stop everyone's thinking what I can do is utilize my time productively. So I paint a little, binge watch a little more, write a lot more and give maximum of my day to something I'm in awe of - Books!!!

Every time I pick a book, there are two things I do without fail. One, I silently thanked one person who's solely responsible for my love for books. He introduced me to the world of books, pushed me to read and now I can't get enough of books. Two, I get closer to  my dream of holding my book in my hand someday.

To help me in that, I did a course that would help me be a better writer. Took it up in April and finished the 45 day course in 20 days. My mentor had mentioned you must read books and I seemed to have ran out of books that time. So I went home and looted Chetan of some classic, marvelous books that accommodated the cupboard rather than his hands.

To Kill a Mockingbird written by Harper Lee, first published in 1960. We had an excerpt from this one to explain how use of correct words can be of great impact. I picked this one first out of my new lot and started reading. A couple of pages later, I could not relate to the era the writer was talking about. I grew weary. I thought I am not going to like it and it will be very difficult to finish this one but I went on keeping the words of my mentor in mind. "Read everything you can get your hands on. Reading will improve your vocabulary and knowledge. Never restrict yourself to one genre."

Interestingly, the story is told by a 9 year old girl Scout. It is about how she sees things around her. It's about her, her brother, her father and their lives and events in Maycomb County. It takes a few pages to get you acquainted with the language and the young girl's point of view. Once, you do, you're hooked.

I fell in love with Atticus Finch, the father. He's a lawyer and a single parent and raises his boy and girl impressively. His work does not allow him much time with his kids but he makes sure to have dinner with them and read to them every night. He may not be wealthy enough to give them everything they want but he encourages them to do what they like. He is their go to person, their idol, their teacher. He never leaves questions unanswered (no  matter how bizarre or how awkward) but also makes sure he never oversteps.

There are few other things that I love thoroughly. The way it presents a picture from a child's view. The do's and dont's we can take from the book as parents. The possibility of being happy in any circumstance. The true potential of children generally missed / ignored by elders, especially their capability to understand tricky situations and handle difficult ones.

It also highlights the divide in society and its harsh truth. I was of the opinion that Indians were the ones suppressed for a long time. This book threw light on real struggles of people in the world that we usually imagine being the better off. While the book touches serious topics like racism, rape and injustice you can not miss the warmth, humour and innocence that soothes your soul in the midst of the tension.

After I finished it, I turned to the first page and then noticed the year it was first published. I then realized that the one I was holding was a 50th anniversary edition of this bestseller published in 2010. Shame I didn't get my hands on this marvelous piece earlier but was tremendously happy for finally finishing it.

In the words of Harper Lee "Kill all the bluejays if you can get them but it is a sin to kill a mockingbird". I am not going to spill any more beans here but I can only request you to pick this one up. It is an out an out treat.

I am going to start with a new one soon, tad to lazy to take a break from books. Will let you know about the next one too. 

For those who still don't read, start right away. Try to squeeze in half an hour of reading per day. This may be one of the habits our children learn merely by observing us. One habit that can change the way they think. One that can make their world lot better.

Happy Reading.

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS

Today Is The Day! (Part 3)

Chapter 3

 

Kirti had changed. The girl who once enjoyed meeting friends mostly stayed alone. Movies, lunches, bowling, painting and dance, she had given it all up. She had no sense of eating which led to her constant weight gain. Lethargy overtook her swift body language. She avoided functions and parties. She also refused to share her feelings with her family. Everything and everyone seemed to have blurred around her.

“Whatever it is that you are not sharing, just remember that it is in your hands to make your life better or worse. You have to act for yourself. Don't wait for time make things right for you” her best friend had once told.

Himansh started spending more time outside than at home. He'd go to the bar every night. Casual drinking became addiction. He lost his temper over petty things and rewarding her with different punishments pleased him now.

Kirti's bruises, burn marks and especially his fingerprints on her body worsened his insanity. At first she thought it was the alcohol, then she kind of got used to it but when she mustered the courage to defend herself, her body refused to assist.

She had decided to get fit. She thought if she became as attractive as she was before, his behaviour may change perhaps. Her brain did not want to help her frail body anymore and was working an alternate plan nonetheless.

She finished her exercise, rebounded to the present and was deep in thoughts. 

 

This was the man she had trusted. The man who had loved her, fought to be with her. The man she wished to live her 'happily ever after' with. But now she wasn't sure if this was the man she wanted to continue her life with.

The sound of water from inside the bathroom confirmed he was awake. She had to think on her feet and execute her plan with agility. She paid a short visit to the kitchen before entering the bedroom.

She picked the towel (he always forgot to take it), walked towards the bathroom hiding a big black unused knife behind her back. “Today is the day!” she thought.

She hung the towel on the steel handle and waited for the door to open. She held the knife horizontally, a few inches away from the door. She adjusted her feet tightening her grip on the knife, a stream of sweat trickling down her spine.

The door opened, Himansh stepped out and found her lying on the floor, knife in her hand, white foam oozing out of her mouth.

Soon, he heard many footsteps approaching. Two men held him while he knelt down staring at his dead wife. 

“Sir” said a third officer to their boss

“We found this on the dining table” showing a letter

“What do we have in it?” asked the superior

“Everything that the caller wanted us to know. We do not need more proof after capturing those” he said pointing at her bruises.

Himansh was upset that he couldn't enjoy inflicting pain on her anymore. 

“I could've helped you with an adventurous end, sweety” said his evil voice.

The four policemen walked out of the house, with the handcuffed Himansh walking right behind. His neighbours never got to see him again.

 

The End.

CHS

Today Is The Day! (Part 2)

Chapter 2

Himansh worked at odd hours but seemed to feel miserable about it. He'd go to work before she awoke and return post midnight sometimes. He also started ignoring her little efforts and was disinterested in her idea of learning something new. Many impromptu out of town trips were happening but she din't pay attention to any of these until she got the best news of her life.

Kirti had taken a home test which confirmed her doubt. She always wanted to have a child and had expressed her desire to Himansh.

“Wake up, baby”

“What is it, sweety? ” his voice was drowsy

“Look at this!"

“Okay, you can try that some other time”

“Please get up, you have to see this.” she shook him.

Himansh found her beaming with a strip like thing with two red lines. He rubbed his eyes “ What is? Is that? Sweety? Are you?”

“We are pregnant!” she announced aloud and put her arms around him. He did not reciprocate and she believed he was just as thrilled.

“Please go to a good doctor” he said a few minutes later. 

“Go? Won't you come along?”

“Would I let you go alone? I have something important at office. So---”

“Okay, no problem. I will need you with me later” she winked.

“I want to know how many weeks it's been and the chart out a daily routine. I will ask her all about exercise, diet, do's and dont's. Will she prescribe me any medicines as yet?” she turned to find him standing by the white window looking outside.

“Baby… I'll be fine. You can come with me the next time and ---”

“Get the pills” he said before letting her finish.

“I will get all the medicines she prescribes, don't worry"

“Termination pills” he said in stern tone.

She was almost about to laugh out loud before she saw the look on his face. There was no humour. 

“I want you to go to her and get the termination pills. I don't want this” his voice was cold now. 

She froze as he looked away and walked outside.

 

Kirti sat on the edge of her bed alone wondering what could've been the reason. He had loved her, cared for her, and had never expressed his disagreement when she spoke about starting a family. There had to be an explanation.

She wanted answers but an invisible wall replaced their usual cheerful chatter. The house that echoed with their laughs was now a quiet cave.

A week later when he came home, he found the living room dimly lit. The fragrance of lavender scented candles and soft instrumental music substituted the creepy silence. The dining table was beautifully set, laid out with his favorite palak panner, veg biryani and gajar ka halwa. He walked towards the bedroom to find her wearing the pink floral saree he had gifted her.

“Movie night after dinner?” She asked.

He did not reply.

“I can't take it anymore.You know I always wanted this. Din't you, baby?” she took his hand into hers. 

“No” he said

“Tell me what's on your mind. What's bothering you, baby?” 

“I just don't want it. Don't you understand?” his voice raised, his eyes turning red.

She tried to come close to him when he pushed her. 

Thud!

She was on her stomach, a moment later holding it tight, feeling an excruciating pain.

He walked out of the house without a word. In a few hours, a pool of red liquid soaked her bed.

They never spoke about what had happened. Not because she didn't deserve justification but because she was petrified. She couldn't forget his seething eyes and dreaded unleashing that rage again.

To Be Continued...

CHS

Today Is The Day!

Chapter 1

Kirti was awoken by the melodious chirps of birds from outside her window. The white window panes shone in the early morning light. She squeezed her almond shaped eyes and looked at the clock, 6.am. She yawned, stretched her arms and turned towards her left.

His wide forehead was relaxed, mouth lightly open, sleeping on his stomach with the right knee folded upwards occupying three quarters of the bed. Himansh was sleeping like a baby.

She bent down and kissed him on his cheek. “Good morning, baby” she whispered. 

“Go back to sleep sweety, it's still early” he mumbled as she entered the bathroom.

Kirti set out with her yoga mat to carry out her daily ritual of exercise. Her constant weight gain was a problem. Himansh loved her the way she was, but it was important for her to get fit to tackle the present situation.

The tranquility of silent mornings accompanied with the cool breeze transported her. Today she revisited the day Himansh had proposed to her 10 years ago.

Kirti was 24 and single. It was a matter of worry for her parents. She had been rejected by 3 prospects already and in frustration had agreed to marry whoever the 4th was.

“The boy's family will be here by 12 noon” her father had announced. 

“We do not have much time for preparations” her mother joined in. 

“You will have to borrow a saree from your cousin for now” she added as an anxious Kirti mindlessly wandered around the house thinking that this was the end of her freedom. 

She climbed the flight of marble stairs that took her to the multicolour tiled terrace. She had often come here to paint, draw, listen to music, be by herself and find peace. That day she prayed that her mind would be as clear as the blue sky and the clouds of doubt, nervousness and worry go away with the wind of clarity. She was scrolling down through a list of songs when her phone rang. 

“Kirti…” Himansh said. 

“Hi, how are you? All well?” she said casually.

“Are you fine?” 

“Ya, what's going to happen to me?” 

“Stop lying, I know there is--” 

“There is nothing. I am not --” 

“Please let me talk to uncle once. I'm sure he will --” 

“No!” she almost shouted.

“Kirti please. I will always take care of you, keep you happy and be a good partner. I will talk to everyone, I will convince them. But I can not proceed without your consent. Today is the day”. The urgency in his voice was clear.

“Is he proposing to me?” She thought.

They had known each other since college. Good friends then, good friends now. Although she wasn't too much into marriage, never thought of herself as marriage material but she knew she could not deny it. That's why she always wanted to marry someone she knew. She wasn't against arranged marriage but she could not bear the thought of spending her life with an absolute stranger.

“What makes him think Papa will agree? No wonder it's going to look like we were having an affair and I can not be the reason for him to be ashamed again. He's so happy, I can't upset him”. 

“Kirti, are you listening?” he interrupted her thoughts.

After a few minutes of silence, Himansh promised he will not talk to anyone from her family. 

Kirti sank into the ocean of her thoughts. She wanted so much from life. She wanted to be a traveller, a professional dancer but she'd have to be content with becoming the wife of a stranger for now.

The following few days tested Kirti and Himansh's endurance. Her father learned that Himansh was willing to marry her. It was obvious for him to misunderstand the situation. He reluctantly called the prospect's family and apologized.

He felt humiliated and refused to talk to her. Her uncle tried to mend the broken bridge. He advised him to forget the past and convinced him to visit to Himansh's house before deciding further.

Two days later, they approached his family with the wedding proposal. 

“How's the boy? And his family?” her mother asked when he got back. 

“I have invited them to come for dinner this evening to make the engagement official” he replied, smiling a little, hurrying outside to buy sweets.

That evening everything went smooth and swift and what look like another sad day in the beginning ended up becoming the day that changed their lives. “What just happened?” were Kirti's first words when they spoke that night. 

They were married 8 months later

It was a grand affair and Kirti was happy to have got what she wanted, companion in a friend. Himansh's family had returned to their native soon after. Their life was perfect but a tornado was waiting to hit it.

 

To Be Continued...

CHS

Mind the gap...

How many of us have had issues regarding studies, play, food and entertainment of our kids? 

I can hear your mind say a yes. 

Were these issues aggravated during the lock-down? The yes was much louder this time. 

It is needless to say that parenting comes with different challenges everyday. You'd also agree that normal days have ceased to exist after we become parents. Of course it is beautiful but is it that way always? While fathers are trying their best to maintain a balance between work and family, the job is a lot more tedious for mothers. (Please don't roll you eyes men, this is not about mothers and motherhood).

This one is about the gap we have between us and our children. The gap that most of us don't acknowledge. This is highlighted when I see kids subject to the following lines.

• You have all the facilities and privileges. We did not have any of these.
• You get whatever you want, we had to wait for months before we got anything we asked for.
• You make your own choices, we did what was told.
• We played inexpensive games, wore non branded clothes and ate what was served without fuss.
• The children of this generation are spoiled.

I confess that its not just the grandparents, a few of us as parents have also used these. Maybe because we think giving them an insight of our childhood will make them responsible and accountable, better behaved and thankful. I may have thought the same way a few months ago, not anymore.

The stages of human growth have been segregated as infants, toddlers, teenagers, adults and old age. But on an intricate level, our children grow in different phases. For example, I have seen Cherith grow fond of things he never liked and weary of things he loved. It would be wrong to say that's how kids are.

I remember we were called sharp kids by our ancestors. But I also feel that they were somehow more accepting, accommodating(in their capacity) and non compelling. I never faced any pressure as a child. There was no pressure to secure the first place, take part in competitions or be a part of sports. We would say that was lack of encouragement but when I look back, I can say that it was a comfortable childhood.

Of course we were competing in class, but my parents never told me that I had to achieve a certain something. Taking part in activities and sports was all by our own will and our parents were just as happy and as loving with or without the trophies and medals.

The amenities and facilities are far better now. Look back and you'll see that ours' were better than our previous generations and they will be better in future. We did not have much say in matters but our kids have the ability to chose for themselves. Isn't it a good thing that they can make their own decisions? Don't you think this will also make them accountable and responsible in the process?

Balloons, park, swing, top, marbles and mud... our playmates. We had toys that our parents could afford. Most of our children have never been exposed to nature and that is majorly our fault. On the other hand, the expensive games are also our giving. How are they anyway responsible? We can not blame them for the challenges we faced as kids. They have their own and our role is to prepare them. 

So,

• There is absolutely nothing wrong in telling them about your childhood. Let that be shared as a learning and not as a complain. 
  
• Let's discipline, not compel them. 
• Let's teach them to be truthful but never discourage them when it's bitter.
• The way they think is different, let's acknowledge and appreciate that. 
• If they are direct, its a good thing. They are learning to speak their minds, they will also be equipped to say no when required (something many of us still can not do).
• They have their own likes and dislikes (irrespective of their age), let's respect that.
• Let's observe them, analyze their behavior and supply suggestions only when asked for.
• Hard work, no pressure should be the home rule.
• We made mistakes and were never abandoned. Let's accept theirs and embrace them too. 
  

They are our children, our future and our dreams. Let's not forget that we are decades apart. Let's mind the gap, give them space to nurture themselves and be available to them whenever in need. After all, we can sow the seeds, but it take a while for the plants to grow, flowers to bloom and fruits to ripen. Let's trust them and make their and our lives less stressful.

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS

Foreign body...

A few days later me and hubby visited Cherith's school to collect his uniform. While on the way, I looked at a certain place and wondered 'I always see this place from outside, will sometime see it from inside too...' and we moved ahead.

Cut 2:

Cherith enjoys playing games with his grandma on papa's old phone. A few days back it accidently slipped from his hand and the hard cover of the phone chipped.

Yesterday, grandma sent Cherith to get 5rs ka feviquick to fix it. He got it and I said give it to me ill do it. I was trying to open the pack when it accidently splashed on my face. A little on the fingers, a drop in my lower lip, a drop on my nose and 2 drops straight inside my left eye...

I rushed to the wash basin and washed it with clear water several times. There was little relief. I tried to rub it thinking the gum will be diluted by water (I know rubbing is not what I should have done).

After about 5 minutes when mother in law and cherith thought all was fine with me, I opened my right eye and asked Google what to do if feviquick splashed into the eye and guess what it said, 'Go to the ophthalmologist immediately!'

I quickly called hubby who was already at a hospital visiting a friend's dad. I told him I need to go to the doctor, feviquick splashed in my eye. " I'll be there in 5 minutes" came the reply.

As soon as he saw me standing in the balcony waiting for him, he quickly called two hospitals to check if doctors were available.. After no response we went to the place which I had wished to see from inside - Shankara Eye Hospital.

(I can feel your laughs!!)

So we reached and the security said no doctor inside, then saw me and said emergency in room no. 20. Hubby held my hand and guided a closed eyed me to the emergency and after waiting for 15 minutes and being checked by a nurse, I was guided to a treatment room. "I hope I don't loose my vision" I prayed. 

A few drops inside and 3 rounds of thorough cleaning with saline water (more like jet spray in my eye). The breaks were interrupted by hubby peeping in between and asking "Do such cases of feviquick come by or is she the first one?" or commenting "This is also similar to a car wash, like force of water cleaning everywhere!" and also scaring me with "Are those red spots in the eye normal?" 

And then a few drops of antibiotic later, I was finally able to open my left eye.. But hey... I see everything blur..

The doctor who was on rounds, stepped in, checked my eye and said the cornea has been bruised, just like our skin gets bruised when we fall. There is nothing to worry, I will prescribe as ointment and drops that you will have to apply for 1 and 2 weeks and come for a follow up on Saturday. For 2-3 days there will be sensitivity bacause of a foreign body invasion.

We thanked her and walked out. I saw the beautiful premises, an enormous banyan tree and exclaimed "That's a huge one!" Hubby turned towards me "Oh you can see?" I could barely open my eyes, so I couldn't give him the look I usually do when he pulls such things on me.

The term Foreign Body Invasion, stuck with me. On the way back, I was telling hubby how intricately our bodies are crafted. How every organ resists and fights any foreign body trying to invade. How it never accepts any alien object as its own.

Whenever we are faced with any physical adversity, our organs react within milliseconds. We are indeed nature's marvel. A marvel that we not only see taken for granted but also ignored, punished and cursed at various instances by our lot.

You have no idea how I spent the night with a swollen eye (since the power of anaesthesia subsided) and unending irritability only realising that each an every inch of my is beautiful and I'm truly truly blessed to have a healthy body above all other blessings. 

This is my first article written using one eye vision. Sure, it was an accident but could have been worse.. I joined my palms and thanked gurudev for saving my eye last night.

Let's thank the almighty for blessing us and our loved ones with these marvels.

P.S : Please beware while using feviquick and such other things. Protect and safeguard yourself and your loved ones...

CHEERS!!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS

The Tough Talk...

Seeking parents' permission for a sleepover/ school trip. Convincing Papa that the guy you love is right for you. Telling your boyfriend / girlfriend that it's not working. Explaining children why we need to hide certain things from others while we expect them to be honest with us. Having talks with teens, explaining the phenomena of harmonal changes, answering bizzare questions.

These constitute the tough talks that every one of us have to go through at different life stages. What has been the most difficult talk of your life?

I lost my maternal grandmother (nani) yesterday. After a while of remembering, missing and crying in her memory, I came to my senses and called my mother.

She was on the other side and I did not know what to tell her. I wept as she cried and spoke about nani at the same time. I hung up after 2 minutes, still without saying a word. This for me, this talk is the most difficult one.

It took me back to the time when my father in law had left us. It was Raksha Bandhan and I was home to celebrate. Parents in law had left to Rajasthan that morning. I got the news, sped back home and when I reached, hubby was busy making arrangements for all of us to go for the last rites.

We travelled to the airport, landed in jaipur after midnight and took cars from there to our village. We sat beside each other throughout but I did not talk to him. I did know what to tell him.

I couldn't bring myself to stand close to him while he broke down after such a huge loss. I did not know if I could be his pillar who'd transfer strength or a partner who'd cry with him.

I must confess that I am old enough, have seen few deaths in the family, have seen people loose loved ones. But I haven't learned how to talk to the kin.

What should I tell them? Everything will be okay? ( Is that what they want to hear that time?) Stay strong, there are others you have to look after? (Does that mean he / she isn't entitled to grieve?)

This also makes me ponder.. There are different ways in which we all grieve. I remember a dear one in college had lost his grandmother. He simply called me and said 'Nani nahi rahe' and hung up. I did not know her personally, yet I had tears after hearing that.

I have seen many screaming and shouting for the departed one to come back but they don't. There are others who simply sit quiet and avoid eating, talking or even looking at anyone. There are those who muster the courage to look after everyone around.

You can not explain grief just like you can not explain love. You don't have a way of grieving just like you don't have a way of loving. So I guess, Grief is very personal just like Love. It has different meanings, reactions and outcomes for each and every one of us.

I can not pray that I never be in a position to do The Tough Talk, I know I will have to. I am still learning and I hope I am capable of extending my hand, doing the needful for my dear ones in such tricky times of need. I hope you be blessed with courage too. 

May my nani find peace and happiness with Nanu up there... May our departed ones bless us from above.

GOD BLESS !!

CHS

Re - creation

Have you seen history being recreated? What a silly question you'd say. Of course you have! Wonder where? In all the period films, patriotic ones and the mythological tv shows.

We have enjoyed watching some great personalities being brought to life onscreen numerous times. Be it the great Kings and Queens, our freedom fighters or biographies of legends.

Rarely do we witness the true struggles and real lives of some geniuses in a way that touches the sensitive parts of our being, our soul. I returned home with a warm heart after watching 83. It's a movie about cricket you'd say. I agree. But more than that, I think it's about the character of the Indian cricket team of 1983, their life, shortcomings, courage and dedication.

Its about how we have never noticed anyone until they have made a mark. It's about how we don't trust the hard work people are putting in to make us all proud until that moment when they shun all the challenges and emerge through darkness like shining light.

Yesterday, I finished watching Rocket Boys on Sonyliv. Tad to late, I can hear you saying. I'm sorry for that. But I'm so so glad that the team decided to make a show like this.

I was taken back to my primary school days when we were introduced to the names Dr. Homi Bhabha and Dr. Vikram Sarabhai. I confess that I do remember their names and that they were great scientists but nothing more. The show did not take me back to school, it took me into their lives.

Apparently, Independence is associated with the blood shed that followed after India and Pakistan's partition. We have never seen or heard about what happened in the other parts of the country after 15th August 1947.

The show took me to the times when progressive minds and significant personalities tirelessly worked to make the newly independent country free in the truest sense.

It takes you through lives of people who are not just some mad scientists, but also how efficiently they could foresee the needs of the country and its people.

I was hypnotised by the magic of science. How, without huge machinery, internet, robots, those scientists continued to achieve various feats and rise to the next one.

I was swelling with pride to see India's first nuclear reactor being turned on. I had little tears when India's first rocket was launched.

I was of the opinion that India is blessed with great minds now. I was wrong. The existence of the two mentioned above along with some other significant scientists during that time is amazingly unbelievable. Newton and Einstein too had emerged years ago. I was foolish to believe that we are advanced now.

We have such a rich history created by such distinguished personnas. I only wish we knew more about them when we were in school. I wish we were told stories of these extra ordinary people, how they created history than just associate them with important dates in history.

So go ahead, watch Rocket boys and tell the children stories of these and many such real treasures of our country. Let's talk more about men and women of great character, whose foresight, undying patriotism, ability to take unmatched risks and unabashedly only wanting the progress of India speak volumes about them.

Let's also learn and grow and open up young minds to think and reason, try and fail, progress and protect, move forward while taking lessons from the past. Let's inspire them to dream and achieve, to create their own history.

Proud to be an Indian. Jai Hind!

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS

The UNSEEN...

Do you know how paradise looks?

What would you answer? 

You may say it is the most beautiful place. A place where there is abundance of everything. A place where there is unending light. Where only happiness prevails. A place we would all run and go to. You may say that paradise is a place as white as snow. 

I'd say the paradise is RED!

"We are thinking about different places" you may argue. 

But, I know you thought of Kashmir; the moment you read the word Paradise.

The truth is, the place and people have seen things that you and I may have not even imagined possible in a heavenly place. 

It is the most beautiful place with the worst incidents of violence. It is where people encountered scarcity of food, shelter, education and health. It's a place where darkness of fear ruled the air. It is where deaths of kin could not be grieved (murders and killings happened so frequently). 

It is a place where rightful residents were driven away to live in camps deserted by the system, the government, the country, by people like you and I. It is a place that is red, soaked with the blood of those who started and built their lives there. 

I watched Kashmir Files last night. Things I viewed on the large screen in front of me, were Unseen, Unheard and Untold. We have always known that situation in Kashmir has been very challenging. People make daily efforts to lead a normal life while the Armed forces have tried to maintain peace and order. What new could there be that we do not know? I thought while heading towards the screen. The facts, the truth and the real history has jolted my soul in an unthinkable way. 

Two main reasons why I recommend watching it.

• To know about the genuine problems that beset the valley. 
• To witness stellar performances by Anupam Kher, Mithun Chakraborty and fine storytelling by director Vivek Ranjan Agnihotri.

Kashmir has always been on India's map. However, it never existed in the policies of the government, or the minds and hearts of Indians per se. Why just Kashmir? I have seen so many north east Indians scattering to different parts of the country looking for a better life. They are treated just the same way, like outsiders.

We are the most diversified country in every manner that one can imagine. Yet, we fail to embrace and accept those who are as much a part of India as you and I. Why do we turn a blind eye towards our people? Just because they look different or talk differently or dress differently? 

We are welcomed wholeheartedly and with so much warmth as tourists in these very places. But they are humiliated, discriminated and typecasted (exact opposite way).

Isn't this a form of suppression?

Isn't this murder of the Rights mentioned in the Indian Constitution? 

I'd say this is a silent and non violent form of torture. One that such people go through everyday. I can not put enough in words here but if you ever meet a Kashmiri, a North Indian, you will have a better picture.

So let us all pledge to be unbiased towards every Indian irrespective of their place, language or culture. Let us strive to be an all inclusive India. Let us welcome every Indian with open arms and extend a helping hand. Let us discourage harrasment. Let us not repulse our betheren anymore. Let us be seen as one country worldwide and that will be depict our unity!

The life we have is not just a gift. It's a blessing! Let's not make it a curse for anyone else.

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!! 

CHS

COVUDENTS

Schooling in times of Covid...

Back in the day when we were all kids, we went to school and were called students. Post covid, some are being home-schooled and are attending online classes conducted by schools. I have named them Covudents.

Covudents : Covid + Students.

As a mother, it seemed like a big risk to me at first. We had enrolled my 4 year old son for online classes for Mont 3. Ignoring the suggestion of many to home-school him or drop out for a year was a challenge.

The first few months, it looked like a bad decision. However, the progress of classes ensured better communication and understanding.

Covid has opened new avenues and thrown light on new methods of teaching. Those that one couldn't imagine had we not been struck by the pandemic.

Videos, for example are a wonderful way of explaining new and complex concepts. Graphics, vivid colours and sounds make it much simpler for little minds to grasp information.

Teachers' use of Games and Quizzes made revision fun and engaging.

The ‘Raise Hand’ ✋option on Google Meet served as an obedient assistant to teach students how to obey.

Teachers din't have to raise their volume to silence students, 'Mute all' did it.

Assessments were made transparent since students were to write and finish submissions during the class.

There is no doubt that it was a lot of hard work for both the parents and teachers. It was a task to manage students (especially beginners). But, the combined effort made it happen.

My son has now successfully completed grade 1. Ask him about it and he had his own list of pros and cons.

• I din't get to go to school and meet my friends but I got to see them on the laptop.
• I was worried when there were tests but I enjoyed answering them in the Quiz games.

    

                      

• So many things were difficult to understand but when mam made us dance and learn, it was all so easy.
• I did get homework but a week to complete and upload was a relief.
• Sitting in class for 30 minutes gave me back pain but chatting with friends, seeing and showing toys was fun.
•  I dint like to keep the video on during class but it was good that I could switch it off and run to the washroom in an emergency.
• Coding classes were boring but making puzzles and doing animation projects was amazing. 

He has also learnt some important soft skills that he is unaware of. He has become confident while meeting new people and talking to them. He laughs at his friends for making mistakes but also encourages them to correct them.

He has learnt the art of waiting for his turn and finishing a task in a specified time. He has also learnt how we can change the background in the window – something that I don't know how to do.

After almost 2 years of being at home, he is super excited to go back to school post the summer vacation. He looks forward to enjoying the school environments where he can seize to be a covudent and become a student just like us. I look forward to see him come back home with new stories everyday.

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS

Clueless...

Today I feel totally clueless

Perhaps I seem to be in a daze

For all the years that have passed

Moments that have become a haze.

Few of them gave me shivers

While some had set life ablaze

Memories that gave me cheers

Those weren't the usual days.

Surrounded by unknown crowd

Craved for comfort, craving for space

In my mind I screamed aloud

My body and soul wanting to brace.

Pulling myself out of it now

Not allowing them to leave a trace

Sealing the wounds, beautifully how

Sailing through with utmost grace.

Today I may be clueless

Perhaps in a complete daze

I promise to find my true address

I pledge to make it my happy place...

CHS

Meri AKANSHA....

I walked back home from school and tiredly opened the gate and saw peanut flakes all around me.

"Aaj moongfali party ho rahi hai" I thought to myself and steadily made my way up to the 4th floor. I reached and put my bag on the deewan while looking at Anita didi and Aruna didi munching peanuts and telling me "Sharmila didi ko ladki huyi..."

I was not overwhelmed as I did not know what being a mother meant but I was very very happy that I will have a playmate, a little baby to be around with. It was 24th September 1994, The day you were born. Your birth has become a lifelong moongfali memory for me.

We have had innumerable memories. I can rather say that I had a childhood because of Anju, Piyu and you. You remind me of the 10 months of the year that I waited for Summer vacations. I waited for you and Piyu to come to Bangalore, I waited to play with you all the cute and stupid games we played. We grew up and stayed distances away but trust me, the miles between us never defined the depth or strength of our bond. 

I am a mother now but I still do not know what being a mother to a daughter feels like. I did feel a mix of hundred emotions when I witnessed Piyu at the altar being garlanded. I felt happy, sad, proud, excited, nostalgic, blessed, emotional and what not. May be that's what daughters do to you. I may or may not have a daughter but if I ever were to have one, she has to be like you. 

You are beautiful inside out, you are smart, you love food just like me (we here struggle to feed kids). You are straightforward and sensitive, sensible and practical, caring and encouraging aur kya bolu....? You make me proud in so many ways.. 

Akansha means 'Wish' and you are truly a wish that everyone would want in their lives, as a daughter, sister, friend, companion, neice and now Akshayji is most blessed to have you as a partner.

Co-incidentally, the day I was born is the day that you are going to take your special vows. You will be pampered and loved, there will be people dancing with you for you, you will be dressed like a princess, a beauty and then you will walk away with him. Every corner will be lit just like your eyes light up our world and you will see people smiling everywhere but they will be nothing compared to your heartwarming smile. Your union will be celebrated and I will not be there to witness any of it. I can not say sorry for not being there at your wedding, I am missing out on far more than you know.

What I will not miss is sending you my love. I have been wanting to do something really special for your special day. So there is a little surprise on its way to you as I write and this letter is wholely and solely just for you loaded with oodles of love, best wishes, special prayers and blessings..

Consider this not only from me but from all of us, Sanu masi, Jay masa, Bhavna masi, Hemanth masa, Sonu mama, Dimple mami, your little sweethearts Cherry, Perry and Anaisha..

It's almost unbelievable to accept that my little Aku is going to married in a few days, all those years seem to flashing in front of me. My little Akansha will be stepping out of her house and stepping into a brand new life with her destined partner. May you find a good friend, an understanding companion, a fun loving spouse, a food lover, an adventurous traveller and your support system in Akshayji.

I hope, wish and pray you that your new family makes way for you in their lives and their hearts without changing you. May you get love that in unmatched because you deserve nothing less.

GOD BLESS!

Lots and lots of Love

Chinki Masi....❤

Bunty...

Chinki had a pet. A dog called bunty. She had seen him grow from a cute puppy to a well grown doberman. She was attached to her in a unique way.

They had recently shifted home and moved to a place that had more open space inside and outside the house. Bunty always stayed out in the open or in the garage.

He behaved differently after shifting. He did not eat on time, barked unnecessarily and did not sleep as he used to. All these worried Chinki.

Bunty soon fell ill and was under medication. After two days of medication he seemed to get better but he did not play with Chinki like before. One night she went out to give him his medicine only to find that he had not had the previous dose given in the evening.

"You won't get well if you don't take it" she told him, sternly yet worriedly. He grained in a bleak voice and put his head down. Chinki had to sleep early as she had school at 7.

She was fast asleep when she suddenly fell off her bed and hurt her left knee. She crawled back up and fell asleep again.

When she woke up in the morning, she realized she couldn't stand up. Her knee ached too badly. She decided she couldn't take bath, she got dressed for school and limped her way outside where her father was preparing her morning drink - bournvita.

She told him about her fall and he asked her to sit on the chair. Father got the milk and she said "Bunty did not take his medicine yesterday, may be he is not liking it diluted with the water..." she was saying.

"Bunty marr gaya" her father told her "He was too critical after midnight, we took her to the hospital but no use" he said and went back to get her tiffin.

Chinki sat there, staring at her book, tears trickling down her cheeks wondering if it was bunty who woke her up to say a final good bye in the middle of the night....

Chinki has gone through yet another successful day. 

She has answered all questions asked at school, got back from school and finished her homework. 

She has had her dinner on time and set timetable for the next day, kept her uniform pressed and shoes polished.

That's what a good day in the life of the little girl in class 4 sounds like. But today had an extra challenge for Chinki.

She had been watching the advertisement of a new horror show that was about to start. Although she hated horror shows, she was determined to watch it.

This was a result of the little monster in her head. She spent a lot of time talking to herself in her mind. People outside barely knew what she was upto. 

She was a shy introvert girl, scared to be judged and barely opened up. Only the little monster knew her fears, her strengths, her secrets and her problems.

Little monster had dared her to do this. Chinki had to watch half an hour of horror show all alone and she could not mute the show in between.

The clock struck 9 times to indicate the start of the show. She slowly walked outside the room towards the drawing room, squeezing her blanket in both hands. She picked the remote and changed the channel.

'Aaaaa Aaaaa...' The show began. She looked around but there was no one. She turned to the TV to see an old worn clock in front of an old worn haveli... It had a huge lawn that looked spooky in the light of the single lamppost located far away..

Chinki put the blanket on her head and heard footsteps approaching a girl seated on a bench near a huge tree. She covered her face to avoid being scared and just then heard a scream.

Chinki squeezed her eyes and tried to close her ears that were already holding the blanket. She dint move for five minutes and opened her eyes and took off the blanket only when she heard the sparrows chirping...

A servant was serving tea to a man seated in a lawn. He seemed disturbed and his hsbds shook as he placed the tea cup and tray of biscuits on the table. "Kya hua kaka?" asked the man. 

"Saahab, gao se chitthi aayi hai, ma beemar hai. Mujhe Jaana padega" he said in a shaky voice. 

"Arey, toh isme jhijhak kaisi?, ye lijiye kuch paise, jaiye" came the reply.

The servant took the money, turned and gave a wicked side smile looking at the camera. 'This fellow is crooked' Chinki told to little monster.

It was night again. 'How does night fall so soon?' she asked little monster. She gripped her blanket again trying to cover her eyes that stared at the TV.

This time the girl was sitting in the same place and was whispering something. The whispers grew louder as footsteps approached the bench and slash.... There was a splash of blood on the tree...

Chinki closed her eyes again and waited for the morning scene. Just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she screamed. "Don't watch it if you get scared" her father said. 

He switched the TV off and told her to go and sleep. She quietly got up wondering what had happened and whose blood it was on the tree..... 

Sharks of Time...

After two successful seasons of Covid, The third is on its way to success... You know what I mean...

While I had been able to dodge it twice, I failed this time around.. The mutations have made it more accessible and less effective I guess.

So I am in isolation and after wearing my body down for a couple of days, it started retreating with its properties just like the Pakistan army.

Thanks to the good hot food made my mom in law, the ever supporting efforts from hubby and advice by Chetan, I'd soon join them outside this room.

What did I do these 7 days? Day 1, 2 and 3 was more breakfast, medicine, steam, sleep, lunch, medicine, steam, sleep, dinner, medicine, steam, sleep; I lost track of time. Was it dawn or dusk, when hubby was coming home and when Cherith's class was getting over, I knew nothing.

I started getting better after day 4, still with mild fever and cough but I could be up for major part of the day. That is when movies and ott took over the steam and sleep portion. I also started reading but I couldn't focus after a few lines.

Then came the weekend curfew and I could hear Cherith, hubby and mummy talking, snacking, laughing, watching TV together.

Each passing minute seemed like The Sharks of Time trying to bite into my head and break me as I sat alone in this dungeon waiting to get out. I stared at the phone, my thumb would pain while scrolling through news, ads, posts, videos and movie choices and I could chose none.

I waited for the night thinking I would sleep and it would be another day in a few hours but the nights weren't less cruel either. I tumbled in bed on few nights and had nightmares on few others.

Day 6 was when I determined to stay away from screen and hence finished the book I started. And today is day 7 and I am already having new ideas for writing.

In all of this. I did not forget a few things that we all otherwise omit when we are unwell.. I prayed everyday after waking up and before sleeping. Expressing gratitude is a great attitude.

I did a little exercise everyday. Whatever my body permitted - a little stretching, few hand rotations, half squats, neck rotations. Intense exercise is not important, moving your body is.

I ate. I swear to anything you say, it was not easy as I could not swallow initially because of a sore throat but I did because I had to get better. I could not let some virus break me down. I had to restore my energy to bring the virus down.

Hygiene. I did not miss brushing twice a day, bathing, washing used clothes, cleaning the room or keeping myself tidy. I confess I had to pull myself out of bed a few times but hygiene is something I could not give up on.

I reckoned the times when Cherith was younger and used to be unwell too often. I made sure everything around him was clean. When I could do it for him, I could sure do a teeny weeny bit for myself too.

I agree many have lost their lives to the virus, many have been hospitalized and as I write this there are lakhs suffering. I am only heartily grateful for being in a better physical and emotional condition. Its because of all the love and prayers that have been with me throughout.

I extend my prayers to those who need the strength and wish for others to be safe. Let's all just remember that we as humans have outgrown and overcome many obstacles and we can win over this one too someday.

Also, its one precious life we have and being grateful, kind, helpful and empathetic are attributes bestowed upon us inherently. Let's keep them alive...

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS