The Power of Will Power - Part 3...

Day 6 was a challenge at the next level. I got up in the morning to get ready, mummy had said we shall go to the sthanak for 6 ka pratyakhyan.

Before I got ready, I got my periods and I was starting to wonder how I would overcome this physical challenge. I got ready anyway and went up to tell mummy.

She was boiling water for me while saying "First tap Athai nahi hogi, 9 karna hoga. Kar sakoge toh main sabko call karu, geet rakhungi, khana rakhungi" I simply nodded and told her that I could not go to the sthanak. I also told her that I was doing it for myself and did not want any pomp and celebration for it. She seemed somewhat excited about it and did not budge (just as I did not 2 days back).

I gave up and focused on the day ahead. I must say it was the most difficult of all days. With no energy, no work to do, no cherry around to play fool with, I literally dragged myself through the day before puking at dusk.

When Mummy came down to check on me and saw me slumped, she asked "saata hai?" "Pith ho gaye mummy" I said in a meakly voice. "Dekho, subah tabiyat theek na lage toh Paarna kar lena, shareer zaruri hai, tap nahi" she said. I did not want to discontinue but those words worked like an ointment on my wound.

Days 7 and 8 passed as if they were usual days and day 9 was the last day of my fast. Mummy was adamant I get mehndi applied. Relatives who stayed nearby dropped to know how I was doing, mummy was on phone all day. Calls were being made to invite friends and family for a small function and bhakti. 

I was immensely happy that Lord gave me strength to finish it and I could see hubby, papa, mom and mummy swell with pride when we went for Pachkaan.

Cherith was taken care of by hubby and mummy during my tap and later by family after parna. No one let him come to me with any issue. Hubby had my back throughout the 9 days, checking on me whenever he came home, getting me water, ceremoniously rubbing nilgiri oil on my feet to prevent my feet from freezing. He dint mind my tumbling in the bed all night and kept me in good spirits all along.

Tarunji would make sure he spent an hour or two with me. We would talk, he would get tips from his mom to keep me in good health and help me get through the long hours of the day. Mummy made sure cherith was fed and she did not mind his tantrums while I was fasting.

My family was away from me but kept calling and asking, I also know all of them prayed for me too.

Above all, Shanti gurudev's grace, his blessings and his bhajans helped my boat sail through despite the obstacles.

I was to take a medicinal bite on the day of my parna at parents' home. After a thanksgiving to Mata Padmavati on day 10 for her blessings and strength, we headed to basavangudi where my lovely family made me feel extra special with a heartwarming welcome and beautiful decoration just for me. We had a few pictures clicked which are now forever memories.

Going through the next few days was a task too. It seemed like the Lord had taken away his divine energy so that I could muster my own strength here on. I was on liquid diet for a couple fo days followed by semi solid food. And mom gave me roti only after day 4.

My feet were wobbly, I felt chills, I disliked taking any liquid or food but was very thirsty, I would cuddle myself in the sofa all day and the tumbling in the night continued.

It may have been a big tap, challenging one, but I kept thinking about those who had fasted for more days, about those who barely managed to get one meal a day in normal circumstances and about our Tirthankars and saints who had gone through way more difficult rather torturous impediments with an inexplicable serenity.

It's been a few months now. The entire experience had such a calmingly magical effect on me.. I realized how it was to go without food. I learnt that anger and haughtiness did not really improve quality of life.

Care, love, Compassion and inner peace is all that we should strive for...

It was my will but I did not know that it truly had the power to eventuate. I seem to amaze myself with unnatural willpower sometimes.. 

And now the words that resonated in my head throughout my tap and continue to help me move ahead with positivity - "Tere haathon mein guru meri dor, tu Jaane tera kaam Jaane...."

Just like the way I surrendered to Gurudev and he continues to shield me, I hope you find a force that fortifies you too... 

Cheers 

The Power of Will Power - Part 2

Day 3... 

It was a Sunday and I had told mummy I will come to the sthanak. She prepared for my Paarna again and left early and hubby, me and Cherith headed to Ganesh Bagh later.

After vyakhyan, it was time for pratyakhyan and without a thought I simply got up and vowed for tela. I can go through today, kal ka kal dekhenge I thought.

When I met mummy after the sermon and she asked me if I had eaten, I refused and she asked why, worriedly. I simply smiled and said I'm fine.

My brother also had tela that day, he was giving me company. While mom would call in a few hours and ask if I was fine, bhabhi really gave me strength when she said "May lord help you achieve what you have in mind". Sometimes, the most simple words are capable of transferring a lot of positive energy...

Mummy however, gave me a good talk about the how I have work, cherry's classes and finally reminded me that corona is still not over when she saw I dint budge. "Jitna kiya uthna bas hai" she tried to convince me..

Hubby also said that it's better to stop at tela. I told him that all I wanted was his support. Honestly, I had no clue how far I could go.

Next morning was again the same but I dint feel like eating anything so I continued on day 4. While I was getting through the day okay, bhai's health spoilt and I got to know about it only in the late afternoon.

I was worriedly praying his health improves and here mummy was supposedly upset about me continuing the fast. I accidently overheard some of her conversation and I was heartbroken.

I called hubby and cried and cried explaining to him that I'm not doing this to trouble anyone or escape my duties, but I was doing it for myself. It was something I wanted to do since the age of 16 and now finally when I think I can heading in the right direction with gurudev's grace, there are people talking things about me.

I knew that we are not allowed a lot of things, I am well aware of the restrictions and things we have to forego. We are also not welcome to speak our minds, pursue our dreams in many households but now wondered if daughter-in-laws did not have the freedom to fast if they wish. 

"Was I doing something wrong!?" No I wasn't, I was sure of that. "Then why did those hurting words have to enter my ears?" I asked hubby still crying and feeling a sharp pain within.

He simply asked me to ignore everything and finish what I have in mind and accomplish what no one in the family had. Of course, I wasn't doing the tap to belittle anyone or get a name for myself. I simply wanted to feel what doing tap felt like. So I gulped the episode with a glass of warm water and headed towards day 5.

Bhai had to do parna the next day unwillingly as his health wasn't getting any better. And my stored energy seemed to be draining too. By afternoon there was something very unusual happening. I dint know what I was feeling but I was very uncomfortable.

So mom called me to take blessings from gurudev. We picked her up from home and went to the temple. I was surrounded by a protective aura the moment I set foot inside Shanti guru temple. It was as though my guiding light was truly taking me to my destination. I can still feel that aura while writing this but I am afraid, I am not able to put it in words.

Post darshan we got the blessing from Marasaheb who gave us a sermon about the conception of Lord Mahaveer (we call it Janam Vaanchan). Marasaheb asked if I wanted to continue my fast to which mom said I was hoping to do an Athai, he smiled, put vaaskhep on my head and blessed me saying "Aaj aur kal majboot rehna, ho jayega".

Mom was super happy by the way the day was turning out. "You have all the blessings now, don't worry" she said while we headed home. I consumed a glass of my staple drink and we left for Marathahalli.

Day 6....

I guess this would not get over so soon After all... Comeback for the last three days...

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!!

CHS

The Power of Will Power..

Hello there, I hope you are safe and doing well. Where was I all this while..??

Well, After that senti - motional write up for bhai on Rakhi, my mind was prepping me up for a physical feat.

Me and bhai have been wanting to do an Athai since so so many years. I will explain what it means first.

We Jains celebrate the King of festival called Parv Paryushan during chaturmas (rainy season) every year. We try to get rid of all our wrong doings and shed the load off our souls.

Giving up zamin kand (root vegetables), Mandir darshan, puja, vyakhyan (sermons from saints), bhakti, samayik, pratikaman, tap (fast) are different ways given to us by the Lord to free our souls from paap and fill our ghadas with punya.

The moderate jain that I am, I do not do all of it but I do visit the temple, give up rooted vegs and abstain from eating after sunset (for 2 months) and try to do as much tap as possible.

Jainisn gives the liberty to every jain to fast as per allowed by a person's body. We can abstain from eating at night, eat twice a day while drinking boiled water, eat once a day or give up food for the whole day and stay on boiled water. I am skipping the minor details of fasts here just to give an overview.

One day fast is called Upvas, 2 days - bela, 3 days - tela and so on. Athai is the fast for 8 days and one can go on for as long as the body permits.

Getting to the point, bhai accomplished his Athai goal 2 years back and I felt I missed it. While I did do a fast for 3 days continuously, twice, I could not continue post that. For some reason this year I was very positive on doing some tap.

So I was having visuals of me and hubby visiting temples, my parents blessing me, my mom in law being overjoyed, my family enjoying the religious atmosphere. But I did not know if any of it would be possible.

Paryushan started on 3rd September and I had decided to fast the previous night. So I got up in the morning and thought, ek upvas kar leti hoon, have cherith's classes and work is usual so I do not want to trouble anyone.

Day one was usual, day 2 mummy prepared for my Paarna (eating after fast) and left for vyakhyan. Aaj ek upvas kar leti hoon I thought. When she returned, she asked me not to continue since it will be difficult to manage home and fast simultaneously....

Day 3......

Come back read about it in the next one...

CHEERS! 

GOD BLESS!! 

CHS