As in when you start liking someone, it's a phase. When you have a break up, it is another phase. When you feel sad, lonely or low, it is yet another phase and the list goes on...
While self introspection a few days ago, I revisited some of such phases of my life..
The first was when I started liking someone I had known for a very long time.. We were in school together but we were never on talking terms. High school was the start of our distant conversation and we got to know each other during college. We were just learning how to be together when something somewhere shattered my delicate teenage heart and we fell apart.
A few months later when I was not looking for any relationship, life startled me by presenting me with someone who was totally new to me. A complete stranger seemed to be all smiles whenever I was around.
We met more often on campus, spoke, started going out and just when I had thought I knew that was the special one for me, fate struck a stronger bolt of lightening and threw us distances apart.
Years later, I had a chance to reconnect with an old college friend. That was someone who listened to me when I needed an ear, spoke to me normally. As in, he was one of the rare boys who never gave me a vibe of liking, was most respectful and I always saw a person who was too shy to talk to girls. He had been a dear dear friend throughout.
So when I was getting prepped for arrange marriage, this friend of mine came into picture out of nowhere and I grabbed the opportunity of choosing him over a stranger.
I knew the true situation will not be understood by anyone including my parents but I strongly believed that "A known devil is better than an unknown one" and voila, he turned out to be my soul mate. My companion, my spouse, my friend for life....
The Phase 1 was kind of immature. There was a lot of influencing. New freedom, new friendships, less understanding of relationships and very less tolerance. Naive people came together and went apart within a very short span of time.
Phase 2 was where I was still very young but gave the other person more importance than myself. I did he liked, tried to live up to his expectations, behaved a particular way and always wanted to be approved of. What I wanted was almost non existant. My world was just one person with everything else missing, even myself. I gave it my all for nothing..
All those years I only focused on what I had not on what I wanted or what I deserved.
So Phase 3 was a randevous with reality. I found someone who was worth having me and I was worth having. He matched my thoughts and my idea of life. He understands me, wants me, shares with me and supports my endeavours.
Each of us have our importance in place. There is no overlapping of likes, dislikes or tastes. In short we maintain our identities while respecting choices of the other. We experiment and explore, try new things and have fun laughing together.
Today, after a lot of contemplation and a bit of hesitation, I share this three phased encounter with love because I see the youth having a lot of issues, majority of which are personal.
Dear ones, please know that no matter who comes to and walks away from your life, do continue to have faith. Whoever is meant and made for you will be there when the times is right.
The people who really matter will find a way to get back to you. Some times unexpectedly making you happier than ever. So go with the flow and enjoy each phase..
Lots of love.
CHEERS!
GOD BLESS!!
CHS
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