So on one such busy day, I was listening to cherith's teacher as he was attending his online class. They have introduced a very informative unique topic which throws light on subjects like space, the ocean, animals, birds, sports, India and its culture so on..
The past weeks was all about seasons and clothes we wear in each season. Going into a little more detail, yesterday's topic was western and traditional wear. I did like the idea of our kids knowing about different attires, but I disagreed on the last few lines that his teacher said.
She said "When you go to temple, you don't wear jeans, t shirt and shorts. You cannot go to party wear a traditional dress, you need to wear western there" My views vary.
Why is it not OK to wear jeans while going to temple?
I understand we have a certain values attached to our religions, festivals and cultures but is it alright to dive deep into personal choices and be judgemental about it?
This reminds of a personal experience. We were celebrating rakhi and since I was a tomboy in college, I did not care to put on a salwar kameez as I was 'expected to'. One of my sisters saw me and said "aaj ke din toh koi acha colour pehenti, kuch accha sa" I asked her what was wrong in my clothes.
She said "festival pe dark colours nahi pehente. Ab toh kuch nahi, tujhe shadi ke baad pata chalega jab tere sasuma tokenge" and I was like really?? Where do such warehouses of meaningless beliefs exist??
At that point, I promised myself in my head that I will continue to keep my choice of clothing, wear it and flaunt it no matter who says what about it. It's been more than 7 years since I'm married, and I don't let anyone decide what I wear.
We know how sharp our future generation is, children grasp so many things by mere observation. Naturally we have to be careful about what we talk to them about as well as what and how we converse in their presence.
At such a tender age, I feel we should give them an overview of things and not define what is right and what is wrong. The moment you tell them it's not OK to wear western clothes to a temple, they will ask why and we must agree, we do not have a good answer to that.
This is when we unknowingly sow the seed of bias in their minds. So when they grow up, there is a probability they look down on someone who is not dressed 'aptly' (according to us) with respect to place or occasion.
I recently came across pictures of brides wearing shoes with their lehenga. And more recently I saw a bride wearing an outfit which was a blend of a lehenga and a suit and she looked stunning. We as humans love new things and are non permissive towards change, we are perfect natural oxymorons.
We tend to do this with colours also.. Apart from colours assigned to girls and boys (as mentioned in the article Blues and Pinks) we associate light colours to happiness and mostly black to something unpleasant.
I remember my sister being tormented by mom for wearing black. She used to say I love black, I'll wear it. Simple but so difficult for some to understand.
I always used to reason with my mom "Aren't all colours made by god? And isn't black one of those?" "No stupid questions" was all she would say.
I still feel amused when someone comments on another person's choice of clothes or colour of clothes. It's none of our business I feel like telling.
During holi, diwali and such other festivals, I do give cherith a choice of kurta and I am totally alright if he wants to wear casual clothes too.. Sometimes, he wants to wear a kurta on normal days and I am happy to give him what he wants to wear irrespective of it being a festival or not.
So let's introduce our kids to new things and let them decide what they want to choose. May be that way, they will grow up to be less judgemental and more receptive...
Let them not be influenced by baseless conservative idealogy and be the warehouses of open thoughts.
Wishing you a very happy, healthy and a liberal New year.
CHEERS!!
GOD BLESS!
CHS
