The Wear-House

I feel I'm really busy these days though I do encounter a couple of hours where I can not find anything to do, but I'm still very busy...

So on one such busy day, I was listening to cherith's teacher as he was attending his online class. They have introduced a very informative unique topic which throws light on subjects like space, the ocean, animals, birds, sports, India and its culture so on..

The past weeks was all about seasons and clothes we wear in each season. Going into a little more detail, yesterday's topic was western and traditional wear. I did like the idea of our kids knowing about different attires, but I disagreed on the last few lines that his teacher said.

She said "When you go to temple, you don't wear jeans, t shirt and shorts. You cannot go to party wear a traditional dress, you need to wear western there" My views vary.

Why is it not OK to wear jeans while going to temple?

I understand we have a certain values attached to our religions, festivals and cultures but is it alright to dive deep into personal choices and be judgemental about it?

This reminds of a personal experience. We were celebrating rakhi and since I was a tomboy in college, I did not care to put on a salwar kameez as I was 'expected to'. One of my sisters saw me and said "aaj ke din toh koi acha colour pehenti, kuch accha sa" I asked her what was wrong in my clothes. 

She said "festival pe dark colours nahi pehente. Ab toh kuch nahi, tujhe shadi ke baad pata chalega jab tere sasuma tokenge" and I was like really?? Where do such warehouses of meaningless beliefs exist?? 

At that point, I promised myself in my head that I will continue to keep my choice of clothing, wear it and flaunt it no matter who says what about it. It's been more than 7 years since I'm married, and I don't let anyone decide what I wear. 

We know how sharp our future generation is, children grasp so many things by mere observation. Naturally we have to be careful about what we talk to them about as well as what and how we converse in their presence.

At such a tender age, I feel we should give them an overview of things and not define what is right and what is wrong. The moment you tell them it's not OK to wear western clothes to a temple, they will ask why and we must agree, we do not have a good answer to that.

This is when we unknowingly sow the seed of bias in their minds. So when they grow up, there is a probability they look down on someone who is not dressed 'aptly' (according to us) with respect to place or occasion.

I recently came across pictures of brides wearing shoes with their lehenga. And more recently I saw a bride wearing an outfit which was a blend of a lehenga and a suit and she looked stunning. We as humans love new things and are non permissive towards change, we are perfect natural oxymorons. 

We tend to do this with colours also.. Apart from colours assigned to girls and boys (as mentioned in the article Blues and Pinks) we associate light colours to happiness and mostly black to something unpleasant. 

I remember my sister being tormented by mom for wearing black. She used to say I love black, I'll wear it. Simple but so difficult for some to understand.

I always used to reason with my mom "Aren't all colours made by god? And isn't black one of those?" "No stupid questions" was all she would say.

I still feel amused when someone comments on another person's choice of clothes or colour of clothes. It's none of our business I feel like telling.

During holi, diwali and such other festivals, I do give cherith a choice of kurta and I am totally alright if he wants to wear casual clothes too.. Sometimes, he wants to wear a kurta on normal days and I am happy to give him what he wants to wear irrespective of it being a festival or not.

So let's introduce our kids to new things and let them decide what they want to choose. May be that way, they will grow up to be less judgemental and more receptive... 

Let them not be influenced by baseless conservative idealogy and be the warehouses of open thoughts. 

Wishing you a very happy, healthy and a liberal New year.

CHEERS!! 

GOD BLESS!

CHS

Gone mad over an ad...

Advertising has been around for decades.. Even before the commercials, there were bill boards, pamphlets and other such short term methods used for advertising.

As all of us 'educated people' know that advertising and marketing is indeed an inseparable aspect of any business for its establishment, growth and survival.

Also as we have noticed that companies by way of their comercials chose concepts that sometimes reflect the real India and sometimes throw light on how the real India should be.

I am writing this article right after watching the 'banned Tanishq ad'. While being a liberal myself, I find nothing offensive in the ad. Having said that, I also agree that everyone has their opinion.

My question is, why is it difficult to look out for positives in things these days? Why outrage over an ad that only means to unite the two most dominant communities in India? 

Afterall, the closing line says "ek jo huye hum, toh kya na kar jayenge" the admaker purely intends to solidify unity at the family level which when compounded would mean unity at the national level. There are hundreds of comments pointing at reversing the religion of the married couple and then see the reaction.

Well, I am of the view that religion is just not what is being glorified there, what is undoubtedly and purposely highlighted is the attempt to keep daughter-in-laws happy.. 

This too has been mocked at saying this kind of relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law is impossible. It is possible in some rare homes in India where people are treated equally and with respect. 

Unfortunately the poor treatment and lack of importance given to daughter-in-laws in majority of the households is not invisible. That can be a total different argument.

Coming back to the ad, there are some really nice ones that are not aired for reasons unknown while some really gross and lame ones keep popping up in between every now and then. 

A Dollar innerwear ad recently had a tagline 'Dollar pehennewalo ki phat ti nahi'. Then there was another santoor ad where a bunch of kids come home to a beautiful mom saying 'aapka chehra humare liye lucky hai'. I can go on with the innumerable fairness creams and talc ads that only stress about the skin getting a tone lighter after the use of the product, which is obviously not possible.

The point is, we humans have become immensely dependant on the internet and feed majorly on the news, posts and information online. Evidently, there is a lot of fake news and misinformation that leads to polarization, hatred and encourage violence.

And in all of this, when there is a major company trying the bridge a gap thats been there for years, show us the mirror and give a solution to a better and happy life saying look, there is not much to do. Little efforts and real care does make life easy, there are people not only opposing it but going to the extent of vandalizing stores, burning property and eventually leading to a ban on that very harmless initiative.

It certainly saddens me how much our kids depend on the internet so we should try our best to let good things reach them by having neutral and open conversations with them about everything.

Let's equip them in a way that they do not believe all the information they are fed with, apply a little common sense and behave responsibly and with compassion.

For a generation that will become more sensible and rational than ours... 

CHEERS!

GOD BLESS!! 

CHS. 

 

Godgiven..

 I came across a quote yesterday, that said 'what if God did not believe in religion?'

I was impressed with the thought because for one, I hate the discrimation that is done to people in the name of religion and second I am troubled by the way some really profound and meaningful intracasies of religion are misused for the benefit of a few.

Think about it.. What if God (the one that you believe in) is sitting up there and laughing at the exchange offers you have for God. What if God is upset by the way we humans are treating lives. What if God is disheartened to see humanity steep lower and lower everyday.

What if God was devastated seeing the death of truth, honesty, care, respect, kindness, brevity, compassion, imagination, generosity and such other traits that formed the core of humans.

I am not writing this one to blame anyone, the idea is to simply throw light on the real purpose we are all here for - Life..

We are here to live, support, nourish and fructify life. The trees around us, the animals around, the variety of species and humans are all nothing but different forms of life.

Let's make the most of this life because although few religions may talk about life after death, we don't really know what happens after death.

Incidentally, the Corona outbreak and the lockdown happened at the time we were all taking life a bit too seriously and for granted substantially. All of us have now registered the value of self care, importance of exercise, benefit of rest. We have rediscovered the worth of love, family, friends and harmony.

Water plants around you, feed homeless, show some care towards animals and be truthful to every relationship. Take on problems bravely and be content with all that you are blessed with. Cherish the love you have got and accept that those who came and are gone were never meant to be.

Life is that simple indeed. It has become our habit to exaggerate little issues and then worry about them. Many times there is no problem but we seem to be hunting for one always.

Have you noticed, when you see someone in a situation, we may advice a particular reaction but behave the very opposite when the same situation applies to us??

That is why someone has said 'Easier said than done' now let's work towards turning this quote exactly the opposite, 'Easier done than said'

Perhaps then, hurdles like appearance, age, gender and above all, gender will never influence how we treat other forms of life around us. 

Respect and Foster life.

The First Time...

As soon as you read the title, a little box in your mind opens up, the one that has all the firsts registered. Some of them to be cherished, some saved for youself to relive and some locked away.

We do not remember the first few firsts of our lives, the first step, first word, first walk, first day of school. But as we grow, we start recording the firsts we have had in our life.

Let's rewind and see what we can recollect... First full marks, first crush, first first performance, first hobby, first friend, first medal / trophy, first love, first kiss, first praise from parents, first drink, first adventure, first salary / earning, first heartbreak, first time you become parents, (you remember all the baby's firsts thereafter)

Now, please return and I'm sure you have a smile after the end of this beautiful time travel.

Just a few days back, me hubby and cherry experienced one such first. I would like to start from the beginning here..

Sany has been persuading me to send cherith's pictures for kids competitions, I did give it a thought too but somehow it did not work. Recently I did send them across to a lady. After an introduction video and 2 auditions, cherry was selected to shoot for an advertisement.

I got the confirmation on Thursday and the shoot was scheduled for Saturday. Honestly, I didn't really know how to prepare cherry. I did switch to being a panicky mom wondering if all will go well, if he will obey us or be a troublemaker. Apprehensions overtook my excitement but after talks with bro and sany, I was looking forward to a good show.

On saturday morning, surprisingly hubby switched to being the panicky papa. We were called at 8.am and while on our way, I told hubby "I have been referred to as your wife for a long time, now I will be referred to as cherry's mom" we smile at each other excitedly.

We entered the villa after thorough sanitisation. As soon as we entered stepped foot inside, we saw a team of almost 25 people at work, setting up lights, camera, products, art, people running to the director for approvals.

We were shown our room and asked to wait till cherry was called for costume trial and makeup. While we waited, hubby said "I hope he does well, doesn't look like these people have any backup"

"Relax" I said reassuring him, "they would have worked with kids before and know how to manage them, besides I know he will do what is asked" he smiled wryly in reply.

Well, he was in front of the camera for a few hours. The director was patient with cherith while his assistant and the actors enjoyed his company. After few retakes, we took a lunch break and then followed a few hours of wait (which nearly bored me and hubby)

"I was thinking..." hubby said as we waited "while having breakfast today, ki humein cherry ki wajah se khana mil raha hai aaj" i smiled outside but I knew exactly how happy, how proud and how touched hubby felt at this opportunity our little one was given.

Both of us tried to keep cherry's energy up, hubby took him for a troll in the balcony, we did counting footsteps and lights, few chocolate bribes, a little academic revision, all to keep him from dozing off and then we were called for his close up shot and then we were free to leave while the others finished work with the adult actors.

I was handed a form to fill before we left, it mentioned 'Child Actor' on top, the feeling was inexplicable.

I must confess, I was charmed as I looked at him on the director's screen. I was ecstatic to see how he gelled with people and how the team enjoyed his expressions and gig.

It was an unforgettable first no matter how his journey in this field goes in future.. For now, you can return to your treasure of firsts..


CHEERS!!
GOD BLESS!!


CHS

After Life....

We watched Dil bechara last night. It was an extremely emotional journey after which I tightly hugged hubby for a good five minutes, never wanting to leave and not at all wanting him to go.

I don't really know how to put my views about it in words. I am still giving it a try.

Sushanth's dhamakedar entry brought a smile on my face. His lively, happy, fun loving character took me with him. His smile made me fall for him all over again, his moves made me dance, his words gave me hope and his pain transfered to me even through the small screen. I was thrilled to see him alive and it broke my heart when I realized he isn't.

There were moments of pure joy, deep love, great friendship, positive parenting and truth about life and death. It is indeed a piece of art that every single person must watch.

"We cannot decide when to be born or when to die but we can decide how we can live our life"....

From movies like Aanand, Kal Ho Na Ho, Chicchore, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, we have learnt and understood that this is one life we have and we must do what makes us happy and live it to the brim. This is one facet touched in Dil Bechara.

When Sushanth said "I want to attend my funeral" I so wished I could do that too..

But there is one thing that I connected to instantly. It is something I keep thinking about too often, how will the people I love go on after I am gone and this facet is brought about very beautifully too..

I am really keen on knowing if my dear ones will miss me, what is it that will remind them if me, whether I would have a piece of their heart or if I'll be forgotten with passing years...

Well that is not in my hands but I want to make sure that the thought of me makes them smile, that I have influenced them in a positive way, that they miss the good times we share.

While I write this, my thoughts are drifting to the bestest friend one could ever have. He is not with us in body but his spirits were so lit, it can still brighten dull moods, his stupid jokes make me smile, his praises for me make me swell, his way of life inspires me to be.

I had my first drink with him, we had each other's back, we lied for each other, had our jokes, shared our experiences, joys, fears, secrets and when I got the news of his demise, I could only remember him with tears.

I did not cry after that because he is meant to be remembered that way. I have lost a few other people in these years but I have somehow never felt their absence.

So when you loose someone that held a piece of your heart, keep them alive in your good memories. Talk about them, share your joys with them, feel them hold your hand when you reach out.

When a body leaves us to join the spirit world, there may or may not be a life after that but here on earth, we do have a life after such people are gone.

There is undoubtedly a hollow left behind but that should not stop us from continuing our journey. In the end, all of us will meet again and this time, together forever...

Until that happens, lets remember, cherish, rejoice and relive the best moments with the best ones we have or we had...


CHEERS!
GOD BLESS!!


CHS

Keep Love Alive..

I posted the quote on insta in April. I don't know why but this question has continued to be a new unsolved mystery offlate.

Chetan recieved a few replies from his friends when he added this to his story. One of them said trust and understanding. Another one of his friends said that the fact that your partner is with you irrespective of the situation keeps love alive.

They were good replies but somehow did not answer my question. I left it at that continuing to be intrigued.

Today while I chatted with an old friend, I shooted this question. Excerpts from our chat are as follows.
Me : What keeps love alive?
He : Trust and bonding
Me : You din't get the question
He : Elaborate
Me: Love is this world can be felt and expressed towards anything and anyone. Its vast.
He : Right
Me : Trust and bonding happens with people and animals

I understood I needed to explain further so I went on..
Me : Love is universal agree?
He : yesss, no doubt
Me: you love your parents?
He : yesss
Me : country
He : yesss
Me : children
He : yesss
Me : then how can you put all this love in the bracket of trust and bonding?

He : agreed. Now I get that
Me : do you agree that we keep loving someone even without talking, meeting or being in touch?
He : yesss
Me : it's an emotion right, a feeling that never dies.
He : true that
Me : so now tell me what keeps love alive
He : emotions???

Me : for example, you love someone as a child or a teenager, a school teacher, a crush or something like that. Imagine one such person
He : yesss
Me : now after all these years, you have a family, work, you have grown in more than one way.
He : true, your thoughts are too deep and accurate
Me : but when you think of that one person, it makes you smile.
He : satyavachan
Me : your memories are always happy no matter how you parted ways.
He :  sahi
Me : and all these years you have had no contact so there's no question of trust and bonding.
He : its an emotion
Me : love itself is an emotion, so what keeps it alive??

In the end, may be after a lot of forceful deliberation he replied.
He : love for me is complex. Its a mix of emotions, behaviours and beliefs associated with strong feelings of affection, protectiveness, warmth and respect for another person. It can either be for animals, love for freedom or love for a hobby.

I realized that I really pushed his normal mental state to become a deep thinker. He did somehow decipher the meaning of love but my question remained unanswered yet again.

I am of the view that we can feel love for anything and anyone. A person, a hobby, a song, a habit, nature, our country, a sport, our work or even God. And while I write this, I got my answer... What keeps it alive is Dedication...

Look up the dictionary and you find the meaning of dedication saying wanting to give your time and energy to something because you feel it is important.

And finally I am content. Irrespective of the age, distance and years that have passed, regardless of playing a sport or not, whether we continue to pursue a hobby or not, our dedication towards that something or someone is what keeps our love alive.

We never see God, but we do give our time and channel our energy to pray. This keeps our love for God alive.

So continue to love whatever you once did, try to restart a hobby, make contact with lost friends, apologize for your mistakes and forgive others and yourself. Give your time and energy to good things and love shall prevail.

However, the question is still open. What do you think?? I'd love to get replies.

Keep the love alive.


CHEERS!
GOD BLESS!!


CHS

In-house Therapy...

The lockdown has brought innumerable feelings and moods out of us.

From being ecstatic to be chilling at home and having a good time to getting bored of the new normal. From escaping the ever traumatising transit to work to working from home.

From being able to spend so much time with family and kids to binge watching favourites. From trying new recipes to worrying about the newly added weight thereafter, we have been on this roller coaster of emotions together yet separately.

These isolated months however, have strengthened my bonds with dear ones and the connection with myself.

As a child, I always turned to music to fix my bad mood. As I switched the radio on, I was amazed at how the song that was playing always matched my mood. Music has been my healer ever since...

As I grew older, I found solitary happiness in writing. Started with random poetry writing in class 6 or 7 (the earliest I reckon) and that continued for very long. After college I started this blog spilled my heart in writeups. There was no looking back when shabdokepankh for poetry happened a little later.

Chetan got me to open an insta account a few months ago, to post quotes that I created and with his help I'm also exploring vlogging on youtube now.

I may not be having many followers of subscribers yet, but the joy I feel while writing and while reading reviews and comments from friends and family is next level contentment.

Coinciding with the times I started blogging, I found that cleaning relaxed my fuming nerves. I have a few of mom's ocd genes and take to cleaning every now and then. Somehow things in order meant life in order.

My anger would vanish when I'd be rearranging the wardrobe or when I'm shining the glass in the room. Cleanliness outside felt like a clearer, happier mind.

I am a big foodie but I only lived to eat. Sany spoiled me at home and after marriage I cooked because I had to.

Incidentally, lockdown made me learn new things. YouTube was the saviour to quieten my sweet cravings. I learnt to make a few sweets and now I am trying atleast 2 new things every week. Cooking is my newfound therapy. It gives me so much confidence and satisfaction.

When I ask cherith "acha hai khana?" his eyes light up while saying "acha nahi mumma, bahut acha, super, mast" it makes all the effort worthwhile.

Hubby's appreciating eyes, his gratified smile and few words of admiration are pure bliss.

So over the years, I have been finding these in-house therapies that heal and soothe me, bring peace and happiness, boost my confidence and divert my attention to the good things life has blessed me with.

These are difficult times, but look inside, look close, you might just find a therapy for yourself. Hold on to it, nurture it and it might just work wonders for you too..

Stay connected, stay positive, stay blessed and stay safe.

CHEERS!!
GOD BLESS!!


CHS

An outside visit...

What do you do while waiting at a hospital?

There's not much you can do though but here, I am writing this post!

I am at a hospital with papa for his cataract surgery. After an hour of waiting, looking at nurses and doctors scroll, other attendants sitting at a distance, I thought I'd rather use this time constructively.

Brother had accompanied papa to the hospital in the morning, I came in later and he left. When I entered the building, it looked like a scene I have never witnessed at hospitals earlier.

After a being greeted with sanitizer and a thermo check, I decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. I stood in front of a completely deserted first floor with no patients, attenders, nurses or doctors.

I was asked to take the lift by a nurse who was going up herself "but let the attendant already with the patient come down and only then can you go up" she remarked cautioning.

I waited for Chetan to come down and after he handed me papa's documents I parked myself on a nearby chair. Not more than 15 attendants occupied the huge waiting area.

The lobby that would have been bustling with patients with regular check ups now had a few patients seated waiting for their tests and doctors to arrive.

Nurses otherwise more in number were now reduced and only a couple of them wearing masks, gloves, use and throw socks and robes walked around readying patients, giving explanations about patients to their attendants.

After an hour of waiting, I was given a list of post op medicines that I had to buy from the pharmacy at the ground floor. All of us were sent at once so I waited at a good social distance as I was in no hurry.

We'll I'm still sitting and waiting for papa to come out after the surgery but this view of a very famous eye hospital makes me think.

It takes a corona virus for all of us to give utmost importance to health, hygiene and cleanliness. We'd never have used masks and sanitizers to this extent otherwise.

We now give each other some personal space, no one can peep into your phone or overhear your chat.

We dare not share water or food with strangers, something that we Indians think is basic courtesy.

We now know that every little issue is not an issue indeed. Visiting the doctor for small things, taking a stroll just because we are bored, having uninvited guests, unwanted expenses have all stopped.

We have grown to love home cooked food. Restaurants every weekends have ended and we are learning to make our favourite dishes at home which would have been ordered otherwise. We are becoming less lazy and more healthy.

We are learning that God indeed is present everywhere. With places of worship closed, there aren't any fights over them. There is a peaceful ambience in the entire country in this regard.

With still a few hours outside home and a lot of time at home, we are continuing to play games, watch TV and movies together, learn, laugh and reinvent the meaning of togetherness.

May be all of us did need a break from the outside to strengthen ourselves from the inside.

I hope you are home and safe waiting for better years and a brighter future ahead.


CHEERS!
GOD BLESS!!


CHS

Lockdown ke Side effects!

Disclaimer: This is purely a personal experience of the Lockdown 1 & 2.

I have mentioned in one of my previous post how the Lockdown was indeed a good start with family. After the Janta Curfew, the state government declared a lockdown till 30 march.

What we forecasted to be a week eventually turned into a few weeks and later almost 2 months.. A couple of days into the lockdown and everyone at home was sleeping till late, lazing around, skipping breakfast and having an early lunch.

Then hubby with one of his cousins started making and distributing food to the labourers and workers. Half the day was well spent and the rest half was either spent watching movies, TV or playing with cherith.

This lockdown has had some side effects but in a good way. My otherwise inactive hubby started playing cricket in the afternoons. I had driven him crazy with lectures of getting up early, exercising or playing a sport but only the lockdown got him to act.

I was delighted to see him laugh and play (he complained of muscle pain everyday though) but I felt this indoor cricket was way better than him warming the sofa all day.

Next, I saw hubby spend a lot of time with cherith. Other days he had school and during his holidays, hubby had office. This was like the perfect holiday for both. When cherry did not see him around for more than five minutes he would ask "papa kaha hai?"

3rd, cherry started learning new games and sports. His daadi introduced him to 2 new board games, I tried to inculcate innovation in his learning and me and hubby accompanied him for cycling rounds and game of badminton. He hasn't perfected its great to see him make an effort.

I managed to finish a few poems and writeups that were on the list since long. Although, there was a lot of extra work in the kitchen and in the absence of a maid, I was happy to get my Me Time to meet the artist within.

I like to cook but this time around I turned to an active experimenter. I tried baking wheat cookies, made French fried, buscuit cake, bread pakora for the first time. The best of it all was my experience of making jalebi. For the first time after marriage, I had hubby standing beside me, helping me. My happiness was beyond imagination.

The last but the best thing of the lockdown is that despite I was away from my family, we(brothers, sisters, cousins, nephews, nieces, friends) came together for game nights. We played housie, antakshari, quiz, performed tasks. We had fun, laughed together and connected better. In true sense, we were all brought together as a family.

Many of us have started cooking, trying new things, many of us have danced and made videos, many have explored the artists, many have played group games, many have started to the body its due care by way of workout, meditation and pampering.

Most importantly, we have all been speaking to our dear ones in other cities, states and countries, wishing they are well and praying for this to get over soon.

We have done our bit by donating money, food and supplies to the needy. We have lighted the candle of hope. We have appreciated and thanked the warriors who are keeping us safe. We have become sensitive human beings.

These things could have happened earlier but for the lack of time(thats what we think). In reality, we do have a lot of time and we do have people we love, we take privileges for granted perhaps.

Let's pledge to give ourselves more time, slow down and take a moment to enjoy the present. Give the happiness that we and our loved ones deserve.

Things are easing out a little now, but we all should be aware of the risk and danger that still hovers. Please do not go outside unnecessarily. Stay safe, stay home to be free once again.


CHEERS!!
GOD BLESS!!


CHS

The Extraordinary Jewel (PART 2)

RK, Mr Raj Kapoor who I adored as a childmade unparallel cinema. His Joker touched my heart in an inexplicable manner, my love for movies started from there.

Of the different life stages of Raju, young Raju was the most impactful. Played by Rishi Kapoor, I was introduced to love in its purest form..

When he looked at his teacher, when he smiled at her, when he always wanted her attention, all of it was immensely impactful. Those naive, loving and unadulterated expressions never left my mind.

With Bobby, it was a start with a bang. Monty of Karz was so convincing, I started hating Simi for killing him in his previous life.

When I watched Prem Rog, I fell in love with this determined lover who never expressed his feelings, loved her unconditionally and dared to go against her own family to give her what she rightfully deserved. The fact that the marriage and the rape did not alter his affection is something rarely practiced even today.

From romancing the most beautiful actresses to playing the fun-loving boy. From dancing to amazing dance numbers to making us want justice for snakes with films like Naagin, he did it all too well.

After the successful 90s, he reinvented himself in the beginning of the century playing characters apt to his age.

Perfect love guide in Love Aaj Kal, the various hues of a father in numerous movies like Hum Tum, Fanaa, Namastey London, Do Dooni Chaar, and Patiala House.

Furthermore, I felt that he had completely let go as an actor, doing characters like the principal in Student of the Year, the cafe owner Joseph Furtado in Chashme Baddoor and the gangster Iqbal Seth in D-day.

Dadaji in Kapoor and sons was epic. It was delightful to see the cute grandpa do marne ki acting and it was heartbreaking to see how he longed for one picture with his complete family.

I watched 102 Not Out with mom, and I remember how I was citing Babulal Vakharia's character to tell mom that she needed to relax and live her life.

Mulk was the last one I had watched and I was flabbergasted at his portrayal of a Muslim man fighting to get justice to his late younger brother paralllely supporting and reinforcing confidence in his daughter in law.

I'm yet to watch The Body but I'm sure it would be nothing but a thrilling treat.

This is just an excerpt to the massive life the megastar created for us onscreen. His candour and optimism exuberated every time he made an appearance.

With a humongous life ending in so much pain, we are forced to rethink the way we carelessly lead our lives.

For now, A salute to his work and prayer for his soul to find peace.

CHEERS!
GOD BLESS!!

CHS

The Extraordinary Jewel (PART 1)..

Bollywood lost two of the rare jewels in the past week. Mr Irrfan Khan and Mr. Rishi Kapoor. Both of them had entertained us in different genres. They made us cry, made us laugh, made us think, inspired us and charmed us.

I pray for both their souls to find peace and their families be blessed with strength.

This part one is about Irrfan sahab who played ordinary characters so extraordinarily that I was forced to believe the story and live his role throughly..

I loved his simplicity. The character he played may be a small one but as soon I saw any of the trailers of his movie, I knew I had to watch it. Dialogues may be well written but they would not have made the same impact if they weren't mouthed by him.

"What hurts most is not taking a moment to say goodbye" - Life of Pi. I almost believed there was a tiger with Pi on that boat.

"Blouse petticoat sab uske naap ka sil gaya" - Life in a metro
I wonder if anyone would have said that to a girl after she confesses her love. I had my jaws hurting after this scene.


The portrayal of an uneducated father in Hindi medium, who wants the best for his child, was on point. My heart went out to him when he did unthinkable things for his daughter's happiness in Angrezi Medium.

The carefree and happy friend in Kaarwaan and the brutally honest prospect who wants the girl to meet his exes in Qarib Qarib Single. The madness he unleashed in Piku was surreal. I could not imagine who could have give better potty advice to a constipated old man.


These are just a drop of his ocean of talent.

Be it a Sportsman turned dacoit in Paan Singh Tomar, a cop in Gunday, New York and Slumdog, an organic husband in Blackmail, he has credited some unforgettable work to his name..

He brought to life various emotions that I believe none would do so effortlessly. One never realizes he is acting, it feels like all that is going on onscreen is real.

True he won accolades, praises and millions of hearts but I guess he left too soon. The painful shock of his death slowly subsides as we know death is the ultimate truth.

All we can do now is cherish his phenomenal work forever.


CHEERS!!
GOD BLESS!!


CHS

Unfair...

How many have watched the movie Thappad?

I watched it last night and at many occasions tears rolled down unapologetically. I felt as if I wasn't in control, I felt heavy as if I was in Amu's shoes.

So firstly I'd request everyone to watch it with family. The movie displays reality, emotions and raw uncorrupted performances in abundance. Not the kinds you should miss.

I was totally into it while watching and once I finished, I seemed to be under a mountain of thoughts. How, why, when, how long.. So many questions hoarding my mind.

All of us know marriage is a lifetime investment, how does one evaluate the share a wife? She leaves behind her world, to make one for someone else. Working tirelessly for everyone's happiness without expecting rewards. Wouldn't it be fair to give her her share of respect and care?

Why are we girls taught to let go our dreams and desires and believe that a husband's success is ours. I wonder many times that I may have persued writing as a career had I not been married.

When do the wants, likes and wishes of others gain dominance on what we like for ourselves. Eating what is left after everyone is done, making dishes that others like, dressing the way others want you to, getting married and having children because 'nahi kiya toh log kya kahenge'

How long are we going to ignore and tolerate unfair things that we feel are nothing but normal? I have found myself and others in a situation where we are treated as nothing more than objects. Ones that can be used for someone else's gain.

I'd like to believe that relationships are different in today's times. There's equality, respect, care, communication - all of which were absolete in lives of our ancestors. Previously, wives were supposed to do what was asked of them without complaints and questions. Not surprising to still find people like that.

Though we do have a few positive changes, the truth is that there are a lot of prejudices that are brushed away as little nothings..

Here are a few personal examples

A man says "Auraton ki kamayi ghar mein nahi chahiye, main kamaunga tum ghar sambhalo"

Another man says "Ek baccha hi toh paida kiya hai, usme kya badi baat Hai"

A woman says "Beti tum kaam mat karo, sasural mein karti hi toh ho, bahu hai na, kar legi"

Another woman says "Bahu saara din bethi rehti hai, kaam kya hai ghar mein"

"Beta saara din kaam karke thak jaata hai use sone do, tumhe jaldi uthna chahiye"

"Tum kitchen mein kya kar rahe ho/ Yeh kaam tum kyu kar rahe ho, bahu kahan hai?"

These are just a few, I can write few more articles if I go on to reveal more of such quotations.

Its not everyone's forte to read between the lines so I don't blame you if you did not understand what the above lines truly mean.

I hope that women don't remain the givers in relationships. I wish that someday, we don't say "maine apna mann maara hai"

These unfair things are almost invisible but they have grave repercussions.

Look out for each other and please speak up when you feel something is unfair. You might just inspire others to be fair..


CHEERS!!
GOD BLESS!!


CHS

A Good start..

When Mr. Modi was proposing the one day janata curfew to be held on 22nd March, I was planning to spend the day with family as it was papa's birthday.

The thought of not doing so saddened me when hubby suggested to drop me off at home on 21st night and I rejoiced at the thought of having an awesome Sunday.

Morning started with an awesome workout on the terrace where dear Mr sun showered beneficial and harmless rays to restore vitamin D levels and boost my energy for a fun packed day.

A few updates on covid-19 followed. Although its available all over newspapers, news channels, WhatsApp and all social media, I am very choosy at reading any information as such and with so much being thrown at us every minute by way of memes, jokes, alerts and new remedies, it is foolish to binge on every bit.

So I was back to youtube on the led listening to gurudev songs. After decided the lunch menu, we were all set to quickly get ready and set to finish the kitchen chores.

A traditional rajasthani dal baati main course with delectable corriandar chatni (courtesy bhavana didi) and a variety of sweets awaited to be relished. We started with a delicious blend of baati, ghee and jaggery called churma (papa's speciality) and then binged into dal baati.

Post lunch, the board games that no one saw for years came out. A game of carrom, few games of Chinese checkers and cards took us all through our childhoods.

And while we were all so into our games, we heard claps and thalis. We ran out to see some people in their balconies and few others at their gates. It was a very happy feeling to be cheering on, clapping for and thanking those who are selflessly working for a safer India.

Not only doctors and nurses, we were extending our gratitude to those who took patients to hospitals, who ensured there was food and milk for us, to those who sanitised stations, airports and public transport vehicles, those who kept conducting the same test with hundreds of samples, those who made medicines available

We thanked those who kept a check on new entrants to India so they can be alerted before spreading infection to others and also to those who live with us day and night and still continue to work tirelessly so our holidays are comfortable and full of fun - the moms, sisters and wives.

Fresh lime and mint juice refreshed us after a 15 minute clapping and cheering session and the WhatsApp screamed as more and more videos of the special thanksgiving kept pouring.

All of us skipped dinner as we were all content with the togetherness that this worldwide emergency forced us with.

As the day ended, I silently thanked hubby and my family for this amazingly good start to the lockdown. I stood at the balcony again to see deserted roads, and how the little virus united all of us humans not only to fight against it but also to keep each others safe.

We all look forward to getting back to our normal lives, men to get out of homes and women to reduce their workload but while we are at home, let's share little responsibilities (strengthen bonds), let's teach the games we played to our kids (show them the pros of not being in the digital era) and let's all pray for those who are ill and those who are working to cure the ill..


CHEERS!!
GOD BLESS!


CHS

Good boy, Bad boy.

Cherry "Do you want to be called a good boy or a bad boy?" I ask Cherith. "Good boy mumma" he replies sincerely..

Sometimes I find myself repeatedly asking the same question. Moreso not because of cherith himself but because of what others will think or say about him.

We have always been taught to be the good one. Good in studies, in manners, in communication, in showcasing abilities. While I agree, there is nothing wrong in all of the above, I honestly feel that this whole good boy bad boy thing goes over the top sometimes.

Everyone can not be good always, everywhere, with everyone. There is no need to either. Being good is fine but it's not all that you need to be.

Infact, we realize as we grow up that many times being good to others means a great personal loss. So it's perfectly alright to be bad as long as we don't hurt anyone else.

Come to think of it neutrally, it is totally subjective. My understanding of good can be totally different from that of cherith, hubby, my family, siblings, friends or anyone else. We can not deny that all of us look at things individually, mainly focusing on what's beneficial to us out of it.

That is the reason why parents or society doesn't approve of someone people who are in love. That is why girls are restricted to walk out of homes at night or dress a certain way. That is why marriages that have no love and trust stay alive irrespective of the fact that neither of the two is happy. That is why children are asked to learn and write abcd like everyone else does ignoring the thought that they may have their own version to education.

So I calmed myself down and am trying to tone it down. I do not want to impose my interpretation of good and bad as I fear that his true self may overshadowed when I ask him to behave or do things a particular way.

He is a child after all and he will learn things in time, I don't want him to loose his mischief, his naivety and his creativity just so he can become "My Good Boy"

While I do want him to respect elders and women, I do want him to restrain from lying and cheating, I also want him to follow his heart, make mistakes, fall and get up.

Being selfish is food for soul sometimes, being straightforward is fine as long as you are true to yourself. Fighting for your love and standing by someone who needs it is okay even there are others in disagreement. Defying a few is fair when your actions mean to benefit a larger group.

Kabhi Kabhi Auron k liye bura hona apne liye sabse accha hota hai...

Good and bad may have many interpretations, let us all keep our variations as long as we all care for each other, appreciate each other and continue to illuminate lives in our own ways...


CHEERS!!
GOD BLESS!!

CHS

Womaniya...

Its woman's week and there is so much talk about women being successful, getting empowered, rising despite challenges, conquering the odds, living happily single and taking care of children and family single handedly.

What is not spoken about is a natural phenomena still widely considered a taboo.. periods.

Let me ask you a biology question. What is the most important liquid in human body? Water. yes. Blood. Yes...

When it is ok for someone to bleed when hurt, what is it that's wrong with periods?

I have come across women shying their daughters to a corner in house, elderly ladies treating girls like untouchables, not let to do things they usually do and the worst thing women not educating their sons about the most basic issue that a girl has to deal with every month.

Bleeding is just a part of it. There is so much more that girls and women go through including mood swings, cramp, pain, lethargy, fatigue and what not, everything to be kept to herself.

I remember how I hated holidays that collided with my periods in school and college. I loved going to school and being one of all (than sitting seperately at home) I loved to play and give high fives. I liked to share the same benches and sofa as the others, enjoyed sharing lunch with friends (than eating alone), I was happy being a part of the crowd (than being looked at as if I had a contagious disease). Best was when I had them during school and college trips where I could sleep on the bed (unlike on the floor on a  mat at home)

I came across this tradition followed in South Indian households where a girl's very first period is celebrated. She is pampered and decked up like a bride, friends and family gather, the elders bless her well. It was such a new angle to the whole issue, it intrigued me always.

We, on the other hand were raised with the ideology that it is best to stay home, not touch anyone, not to attend functions or marriages, not to travel, not enter the kitchen and going to the temple was taught to be a sin. Never raised a word against all of this, its a taboo to talk about it remember?

I once asked my mom "God is the one who created us, he made us girls and it is natural for us to have periods. Then why is it that we can not pray to him during these days?" "Paap lagta hai" is what she said. I wondered if what the south indian women did was paap...

My view on periods changed when we had a candid talk about it with our school biology teacher. She pointed out that it is completely alright to go to the kitchen, cook, play, do the all the usual things during periods.

I went back home and asked mom "When you go to a shop, would you ask the salesgirl if she is having her periods, would you not purchase what you need if she is? or if you go to a lady doctor, will you not get yourself checked if she was menstruating?" she had no answer to my questions, but I had got mine...

There are women everywhere and all of  them lived their routine lives everyday, then how do we differentiate between the ones who are "Pure" and the ones who are not? May be there is not need for this segregation.

My husband did not know a thing about this, but when he did I realized his behaviour towards me during my special days never changed. He did not mind sharing food with me, he was okay with tarveling in the same vehicle. He also fought with me to make me sleep on the bed and not on the floor.

All the ideas that I was raised with regarding menstruation was nothing but someone else's convenience. Its time to make it convenient to girls and women too.

I am going to educate my son about periods in time and I request you to do teh same with your girls and boys. this is the only way we can help them have unbiased and uninterrupted mental and physical growth. There is nothing impure about periods. It is organic and healthy and there is nothing to be shamed of.

Proud of being a womaniya!!


CHEER!!
GOD BLESS!!

CHS

Baiting the rats...

Pick up the newspaper, switch to any news channel, there are more incidents than information. 

Rapes, robberies, assaults, murders, crime seems to have taken away the good in humans at large. While the crimes against girls keep stirring my soul, there is a recent chain of events that has affected me deeply. 

Our nations capital and lives of our fellow Indians are burning. Though I can not comment much on whether a law should be enforced or not, I no for sure how we should treat our fellow citizens.

People have been attacked by mobs, women molested and forced to flee their own homes in scanty clothes, security personnel and civilians killed by stones thrown by a few who were paid to do so.

1st, how does violence on innocent ever solve an issue? It becomes a serious issue on the contrary.

2nd, how and why do we have to spoil public property and life for the benefit of some who have no value for those very people who bring them to power?

3rd, when every Indian, loves India equally, and wants to live in harmony with everyone, who are these extraordinary animals and why do they showcase animosity?

After the riots, when police takes charge and helps to get lives of people back to normal, there are neighbours of victims stretching a hand outward to ensure their tormented neighbours are safe. They also endure that we all do stand as one together.

I wonder how traumatized the minds and souls would be. If I had to walk out of my home and have a mob throw stones at me and my child, manhandling or abusing me, I would be petrified to leave my home ever again.

But like witnessed hundreds of times before, our resilience comes more as a habit rather than a choice.

There are hundreds of people stuffing into vehicles, leaving the only homes they ever knew, for the safety of their lives.

Is this the India we really want? You would say what can I do?? Apparently, there are a few things we can do.

Be aware. Just because our lives are normal, we needn't become blind to the disturbances in our surroundings.
Talk. It is futile to have a voice and not be heard.
Spread Love and care. That is what all of us crave.
Share. Share basic necessities with the ones who need them and share the truth with as many as possible. When we have the time to posts hundreds of pictures on our social media, we can definitely spare a a few moments for our countrymen.

Stop baiting a few rats with no conscience to hurt hundreds and thousands who sweat and bleed just to live and sustain their families for another day.

In this age of revolution. Lets not wait for big people to make small changes, let's take small steps to make a big change.

Long live India, longer live Humanity.


CHEERS!
GOD BLESS!!

CHS

Corporeal...

All of us look forward to enjoying a holiday.

Despite meticulous planning, sometimes everything seems to work against you and things are not under control anymore.

Such vacations happen not to test your patience or to check your troubleshooting capacity, they happen just to shed the load off your shoulders and set your mind free. All we need to do is go with the flow and make unforgettable memories.

One such holiday hit me recently. Here goes....

Me, Cherry and Hubby were off to a grand hotel stay for 2 days and 3 nights. Short one but I was adamant at making the most of it.

At first I bugged cherith with his homework since I dint not want any backlog. After many pleases and even more pleading from hubby, I kept the books aside.

We got ready and decided to take a tour of the hotel. A curious wanderer that cherry is, he knocked open a door inside which an Indian was trying to woo a Chinese girl.

Well, you can imagine the worst but the poor guy was still at the start of his program and found cherry glaring at him. Me and hubby mumbled sorry while I tried to get my hands on the door handle to shut it close.

I continued to give Cherry a stern "No No" look and a moment later he asked me sheepishly "Mumma, what was that uncle doing?" Me and Hubby paused and we burst out laughing as our son quizzically looked on.

A little ahead was a huge room, apparently a ball room that hosted dance parties. The next floor was completely mesmerising.

There was only one room with some incredible artifacts and pieces made by amazing sculptors. Just when we were trying to figure out the cultures and countries they belonged to, Cherry picked up something that looked like a rhino horn. It had some inscriptions he wanted to decipher.

"Mumma, Papa look at this" he exclaimed and before we could get our hands on it, he brought it close to his mouth and blew it, a blaring poooooo followed and the surroundings started to shake as if an earthquake had struck. The walls started cracking and the floor beneath us tore apart making a big hole.

As clueless and astonished travellers we saw a beautiful red carpeted spiral staircase making its way into the hole and the view from where we stood was breathtaking. Cherry sure regretted blowing the horn but ab kya?

An army of an Egyptian pharaoh emerged from behind the walls with unreal weapons. "I love you" I screamed to hubby and cherry as we held on to each other tight awaiting our end.

Hubby, the quick thinker, held our hands and pulled us out of the room. We ran outside to save our lives and entered the big ball room again. This time my mouth dropped.

All of my family, parents, uncles, aunties, siblings, cousins, sisters and brother in laws and the kids were all there in traditional attires. Are they here for a Sangeet night I thought to myself while outside I shouted at all of them to just vacate the place as hell was approaching.

I could not feel hubby's and cherry's hands in my hands anymore and I looked around as I panicked even more. "Mumma" I heard him call and I turned to find him and my eyes opened.

I found him sleeping in his bed just as cutely as he always does and I turned to look at the clock 6.30.

What a dream!! Everything that took place was so vivid, it felt bona fide and not at all delusional.

I got out of bed smiling at the thought of narrating my fantasy feat to cherry and hubby and getting their reactions.

This is not new to me though, I have had hundreds of insane dreams and I thoroughly enjoy them after waking up. I feel ecstatic at the power of my imagination, it takes me places I never actually go to but it feels corporeal nonetheless (;

Dream on!!

CHEERS!
GOD BLESS!!

CHS

Touched...

Parenting makes us do so much!!

From changing our habits, to planning routine. From keeping an eye on the child's behaviour to being vary of our own while they are around. From writing once a week to once a month and then just a few in a year...

Well, I don't really mean to blame it on anyone but there are so many things that you are clustered with and trust me, being a parent is one job you can not master for years.

As I said earlier, it's a two way learning process. We as parents and they as kids learn and grow and become better together.

I chose to write today to permanently save this one small anecdote. It happened yesterday but I want the feel of it to stay with me forever.

So the week that just got over was Cherith's assesment week at school. For the first time oral and written assessment was done during the same week. We did our practice and revisions everyday and I knew he would have done well.

PTM was scheduled yesterday and I hate to be late. So I got him ready and told him I'll finish cleaning the bathroom and then we will go up to have breakfast before leaving for school.

"Mumma, don't wet your saree while cleaning" he said. "There will be water, might get a little damp" I replied teasingly looking at him.

"Change your saree if it gets dirty, wear another nice one" he went on to say.

"We are just going to your school laddu" I played along.

He rested his hand on my shoulder, looked down "Koi bhi aap pe hasega toh mujhe accha nahi lagega" he said and smiled. I could see his eyes gleaming and my eyes filling up.

I just cannot explain how those words felt. It touched me that my baby loved me, it moved me that he felt that way but more than everything I was happy I was going the right way as far as parenting was concerned. There many such little things and little sweet gestures from Cherith that are so touching, they just make my day.

On the contrary, there are incidents and talks of how children are getting insensitive towards parents and elders. They refuse to help, do any work, back answer, disobey even rebel. Children are getting less emotional, more open and even more detached.

In all of this, when a four year old shows this kind of respect and sensitivity, I feel I am doing some sensible job.

We headed for school and with all answers written well, a check in all assesment parameters and an A in all developmental aspects, I was rejoicing as a mom.

Also every PTM, I make it a point to ask his teacher how he behaves in class. The teacher says he is naughty but that never troubles her or other kids in class.

At home, I tell Cherry "I would not mind you scoring a few less marks or getting a few lesser grades but I will not tolerate bad behaviour come what may. I want you to be polite, respect others, help and share".

Too much load a little heart you might wonder but I feel its never too early to imbibe good things. Afterall a good seed will become a fruitful green plant and a stronger tree.

This also throws me back to a roadies real heroes auditions of a girl called Bhargasetu Sharma. The girl is 21, has won bravery awards, she is into rescuing and sheltering pets and abandoned animals and was a real hero in the last season of roadies.

Neha Dhupia asked her if life had changed after all the awards and she said "not really" and to that Nikhil said "you have no idea how happy that answer of yours has made me"

Sandeep Singh added that these things come with the upbringing and I could not agree more.

In this racing and pacing world, it is so difficult to keep children grounded. Truth, Honesty, Love, Loyalty, Compassion, being Humble, are all felt and nurtured rather than being taught.

We need not strive to make them toppers or champions but I strongly give credence to transferring our treasure of values so these little ones grow up to be best human beings and eventually be successful.

May there be light in all our hearts to guide our future generations to a brighter tomorrow. And while we are all at it, let's also continue to cherish our golden days and relive them with our munchkins.


CHEERS!!
GOD BLESS!


CHS

Rasmalai...

We took an unplanned trip to mysore just before kick starting new year. With all the ladies pepped up to have some fun time along with jiju and two kids I really thought it would be one happy ending to 2019. Turned out that we were in for a surprise.

Ranagantittu was soaring with people waiting for a boat ride to the islands that were nesting places to birds. So we wandered a little and walked out.

On our way to KRS Dam, the driver told us we would take 10 minutes from where we started. But the vehicles refused to move even an inch. After waiting in the car for atleast two hours in the jam, we gave up and took a you turn.

I called the person who had assured we would get our rooms ready when we reached. First call, he asked me to call back, 2nd call he dint pick, 3rd call he pretended to be very busy and asked me to call again and I understood we were to be roomless that night.

Co incidentally Sany's friend was back from Istanbul a week ago and agreed to catch up for dinner. When she met all of us, she was super happy and then we discussed about the issue at hand.

She tried to help us out but it seemed like mysore was overloaded with travellers for new year. So we self invited ourselves to her home. Though she was skeptical (because of the mess she thought would terrify us), she not only very warmly let us in, but made us feel at home in the city that seemed to have so harshly deserted us.

We were comfortable the moment we stepped in and after all of us settled for the day, we girls were doing what we loved -talk.

Sauji, holding a doctorate degree, working with 3 continents, visited 42 countries and innumerable memorable experiences was sharing some with us.

The Sudan episode was something out of this world. After listening to her, we realized how immensely fortunate all of us were and how easily we blame and disrespect things that we get.

The following morning, we visited the rail museum (which was under renovation) chamundeshwari temple (which we could not enter) and to see the lit up palace(which was not lit because a seer had passed away)

So all in all we did visit mysore and did see places but the thing that made our trip worthwhile and the person whose company kept us happy despite the disappointments, was Sauji.

She did to our trip what an inscence stick does to our home, what colour does to our wardrobe, what sunshine does to a gloomy day, what rasmalai does to a buffet spread.

Sauji, Thank you is just not enough but I really wish all your troubles be vanished and you get the best outcomes from all your efforts and encounter lesser fools.. (;

Also wish all of us get going for such unplanned trips and find our rasmalai along the journey, the taste of which our hearts savour for life...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
CHEERS!
GOD BLESS!!


CHS