Cherith is 3 and a half now and many including my mom keep reminding me that it's time for the second one!!
I have told her and everyone else talking to me about this that I am more than happy with cherith and I do not think there is any reason for me to have a second kid.
There have been a lot of long talks with many regarding having more than one child. These are a few questions posed along with answers I have got in my head. However, these answers refuse to be deposited in the heads of my opponents (in beliefs).
When are you planning another kid?
I am not! I think raising one kid with good values and a strong character is very fulfilling than having children to fill the house..
You too have siblings.. He needs a sister or brother.
I dont think so.. Besides he has brothers and sisters. I never tell them they are his cousins..
Who will he have when he grows up?
He will have his extended family and the friends that he would choose for himself.
It goes on.. The point is, having children and number of them is perfectly one's personal choice.
At many instances I crave to be the mother of a baby girl. I want to raise a girl, make her a strong headed one, capable of giving tough competition, able to take desicions and stand by what her heart feels is right. But while these thoughts keep crossing my mind, I am very sure that I need not give birth to another.
For one, I am not sure if it will definitely be a girl. I dont want another boy. Second, just because I am proficient in bringing up two children doesn't mean I have to give birth. I can adopt a child, give her and myself a new life and ambition..
Own is own and adopted I adopted - this is what my wish is always welcomed with. With due respect to all elderly having huge families, how many are such where elderly are taken care of with sensitivity?
How many parents are sure that their sons wont drift apart as the journey of life advances. How many brothers have been loyal to each other with regard to money matters? So it's not about the blood, but the bond that we have..
Also what about my life? A girl marries and has to keep up with everything just instantly.. After a baby there are lot more mental and physical challenges than men can imagine.. So when we are finally on track with our usual selves when the kid is about 3 or 4, the topic pops up again.
We want to go out, catch up with watsup, be free to talk to people, take care of ourselves, spend time with our partners.. I am of the view that a good 5 years is taken away in getting a baby into world and getting them to be on their own.. so nothing of the above is possible while we are at it..
What about couples who have two happy kids but an unhappy marriage? Kids may not resolve issues and resolve differences.. I have a lot more questions when someone asks me about my second kid. But now I refuse to answer because people just dont respect any decision we take.
We are cursed if we dont have a kids. (Ab tak baccha nahi hua?) Pestered to have two as soon as life settles after one. (Ek aur kar le) Critised if we have more than two (aaj ke zamaane mein itne bacche?) Its a lose lose situation..
While you are reading this, please ensure that you do not entertain such conversations.. let's be a little more human to the women in around us...
As for me, i had a very short two day trip after wedding.. The second one that I am looking at is a vacay in Europe!!
Cheers!!
God bless!!
CHS
I have told her and everyone else talking to me about this that I am more than happy with cherith and I do not think there is any reason for me to have a second kid.
There have been a lot of long talks with many regarding having more than one child. These are a few questions posed along with answers I have got in my head. However, these answers refuse to be deposited in the heads of my opponents (in beliefs).
When are you planning another kid?
I am not! I think raising one kid with good values and a strong character is very fulfilling than having children to fill the house..
You too have siblings.. He needs a sister or brother.
I dont think so.. Besides he has brothers and sisters. I never tell them they are his cousins..
Who will he have when he grows up?
He will have his extended family and the friends that he would choose for himself.
It goes on.. The point is, having children and number of them is perfectly one's personal choice.
At many instances I crave to be the mother of a baby girl. I want to raise a girl, make her a strong headed one, capable of giving tough competition, able to take desicions and stand by what her heart feels is right. But while these thoughts keep crossing my mind, I am very sure that I need not give birth to another.
For one, I am not sure if it will definitely be a girl. I dont want another boy. Second, just because I am proficient in bringing up two children doesn't mean I have to give birth. I can adopt a child, give her and myself a new life and ambition..
Own is own and adopted I adopted - this is what my wish is always welcomed with. With due respect to all elderly having huge families, how many are such where elderly are taken care of with sensitivity?
How many parents are sure that their sons wont drift apart as the journey of life advances. How many brothers have been loyal to each other with regard to money matters? So it's not about the blood, but the bond that we have..
Also what about my life? A girl marries and has to keep up with everything just instantly.. After a baby there are lot more mental and physical challenges than men can imagine.. So when we are finally on track with our usual selves when the kid is about 3 or 4, the topic pops up again.
We want to go out, catch up with watsup, be free to talk to people, take care of ourselves, spend time with our partners.. I am of the view that a good 5 years is taken away in getting a baby into world and getting them to be on their own.. so nothing of the above is possible while we are at it..
What about couples who have two happy kids but an unhappy marriage? Kids may not resolve issues and resolve differences.. I have a lot more questions when someone asks me about my second kid. But now I refuse to answer because people just dont respect any decision we take.
We are cursed if we dont have a kids. (Ab tak baccha nahi hua?) Pestered to have two as soon as life settles after one. (Ek aur kar le) Critised if we have more than two (aaj ke zamaane mein itne bacche?) Its a lose lose situation..
While you are reading this, please ensure that you do not entertain such conversations.. let's be a little more human to the women in around us...
As for me, i had a very short two day trip after wedding.. The second one that I am looking at is a vacay in Europe!!
Cheers!!
God bless!!
CHS
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