Partners in crime!!

I have been exposed to a bitter reality of union offlate. It made me ponder if it happens with all people who have known their partners for long years before tieing the knot.

Imagine this scenario.. You and your spouse may have been classmates at college, may have been friends or you have been head over heels in love and yes the universe may have conspired to bring you two together..

In any case, you may have spent a few hours a day with each other at college.. may have known a few habits that make you, a few likes, dislikes, preferences and ambitions.

When you were engaged, you might have enjoyed fruits of courtship talking about what you like about each other, how you miss the other, how you long to be together, how you see your lives as one, how every silly moment becomes a memory, making promises you will carry throughout. You assure each other to care, comfort, love, never to hurt and fight.

As days pass, you may have caught each other's eyes randomly at your wedding functions.. Then the big day, your wedding is witnessed by family and friends blessing and teasing you.

Then the first few months where the girl is trying to fit in, make every body happy praying people have good opinions about her. The guy supporting her, stealing romantic moments in between the efforts, reassuring her all's going good and he will always be by her side if anything ever went wrong.

Then after all the traditional turmoil settles, all the questions about your new married life are put to pause. You two are literally on your own. Apparently no one interferes in your matters and whatever it is between you two is purely no one else's interest.

The excitement swaps places with routine. Cooking, cleaning, going to work, earning the bucks, nurturing, making provisions takes over all the promises and life becomes mundane.

This is the time you start showing expectations rather than fulfilling them. You ask the other for favours instead of doing them. You remind the other of the promises that still need to be fulfilled.. You put across what you don't like in each other while the attributes appear to lie low.

As "we time" takes a  toll, you long to spend a few minutes with together. You pray to get a break so you can rejuvenate. All emotions seem to die in the midst of arguments. One single person's deeds, actions or words ruin you emotional sanity. Life looks like something you never imagined with this very person.

Whenever a chance comes your way and you do get a quick time out, you look around at others and think what a happy couple they are!! Something you had always wanted your relationship to look like.

Hey dear friend, everybody's life is the same. Just the reasons and causes are different but every relationship has a phase where priorities change and you may not be top of the list.

When you had made the decision of spending your lives together, you lived with your own families, with people who had lived with you day in and out. These people know a major chunk of you.

Now that you are with this person, the process has to be repeated all over again. The years of proximity does not matter. It's more like voting for governnent. They make a lot of promises and make themselves look profitable to us but only when it comes to power do you actually know what it is capable of.

Your prosperity and downfall is highly dependant on who you choose. Now that it's ruling (your life) you have to put up with shortcomings citing the greater good. There may also be emergencies in a few case but eventually ache din aa hi jayenge.
Only in this case, you can not change the government every five years..

This lifetime coaliton means riding through the road of life ignoring the potholes of faults. Exchanging weakness and drawbacks with positivity and fulfilment. Finding answers after fights, introspecting if your doing enough to live upto to promises.

Whatever be the situation, just hold on. When this tornado of what you expected of each other passes away, you will be neutral. Then whatever you do will be accepted with gratitude, little joys cherished and memories of lifetime created...

Meanwhile I want to steal away some busy days from the schedule of my partner in crime. Can I have details of some holiday destination...??

Cheers!
God bless!!

CHS

Its time for GST..

All of us including me have got a good dose of everything about GST.. What it means, how it works, what are the slabs, how it is going to clear the complex systems and enable benefits and growth. News channels and newspaper are feeding us enough. I am not going to elaborate further.

Off late I have witnessed some things that I dislike happening close to me. A girl married for a couple of years has not had a baby and as usual become a matter of everybody's so called concern. "Mandir leke jao, pooja karao, doctor ko dikhao, tests karao." Everybody is ready with a question for her mother in law and a silent taunt for her.

That is not the problem. The actual problem is nobody cares to talk to her and find out what she thinks or feels. Its not that she can't have a baby. It is just a  matter of the couple being ready for the big responsibility. Simple isn't it? But this simple thing is so complicated for our old ladies (and some of the younger lot) to understand that all they believe only some miracle can help.

It is always presumed that if there is any problem in the marriage, it might be the wife. If she is not having a baby, the lady is to be blamed. If their is a rift in the family, the daughter in law may be responsible. Husband behaves differently at home, might a female colleague. Undoubtedly reforms and changes have come but anti female notions continue to handicap mindsets.

The most disturbing idea that agonizes my soul is "ek ladka toh hona chahiye". I agree you would say that you have a liberal family and all that but I'm sure you would find one person somewhere around the mother of a girl child having this very thought. Take a test if you don't believe me. I am a living example...

I had a c section so I was well aware of what was happening on that operation table I dreaded. As soon as I heard the first cry of my baby, a tear rolled out and when I asked my doctor if it was a girl, she said its a boy and another tear rolled down my eyes. One was for the contentment that my child was safe (I had some complications) and the other was for it was Not a Girl!!

Even months later when people met Cherith, they were not happy that he was in good health or was a good learner but happier that he was a boy. One such aunty told me "Ek ladka ho gaya, ab aage jo bhi ho chalega" I could not resist asking her "Aunty ek ladki ho jaati toh??" "Na beta, ek ladka toh hona hi chahiye..." I walked off from the place. I just can not comprehend such opinions.

This is not a debate about the importance of the stronger sex, it is simply about the non significance of the gender that is the reason for the creation of us all, that too by the same gender. In my view, it is now time for GST! Girls Shatter Traditions!

Auntyjis.. First of all, our personal matters are none of your business. Second, why are you all so adamant on creating problems where none exist? Third and the most repeated request by people of my age; Please give advice only and only when asked for. Your uninvited worry not only disturbs us but also creates unnecessary nuisance. I also want to add a four; muster some courage and talk to the men and check if there is any problem that side.

Girls like me a screaming in their minds to all these women to just be a human. A real woman cares not curses, she would understand not underestimate, she would have a heart not hurt another, she would try to find the truth and help rather than spreading lies and creating hell. If you can not do anything of that sort, you are not to be called a woman. There is nothing wrong in telling you what you are doing is not encouraged.

We are not interested in becoming your pets. We do not aim to please you by doing things we do not believe in and We are not at all willing to enter your good books. Just let us be. Let us do things our way, live our lives hassle free. Yes we have problems and would want your guidance but only on the terms that you genuinely help and not create chaos. Your hurtful comments and nosy worries are so not welcome.

Thank You!

Cheers!
God Bless!!

CHS