Sooner or Later...

I have been worried about cherith's education off late and me and hubby have been having a lot of discussion about the same. I know he is still a year and a half and it's early but the tension comes from the view that comes from near my home in Marathahalli.

There are around four to five schools on the main road that connects home and many more in an around Ring road. It seems almost like a buffet of schools to me, all serving hot offers to please. All giving their positives to attract as many children as possible. That also reminds me of the sight of kids travelling with heavy bags on their shoulders, travelling in buses, looking drained as if they have been labouring in a factory unit. I am not questioning the working of any institution, but I don't remember getting so drained during my school days unless it was a day trip.

One of my college friends sent me a link of an article about the selection processes in Yale University. It's like a league where candidates are shortlisted on the basis of ranks and personal qualities. What astonished me was the categories that candidates are put in. 'Dev A' for students who have rich donors, 'MUSD' for musician with highest degree of promise and many more such abbreviated phrases that we cannot think of.

Today, the games that kids play, the exposure they get and the thinking that they develop is already complex and such systems make them nothing less than zombies. Success is like a drug that is induced into prospects by such elite institutions and the fear of failure terrifies them to such an extent that they get disoriented. They do not want even the possibility of error and as a result, they have no time to indulge in any activity that they enjoy or that connects them to their soul.

We are of the opinion that private schools are better but the other schools are in a bad shape because no one is actually bothered. Who wants to send their child to a government school? Who wants their child to talk in Hindi. Who wants a kid to get average score? All of us want a genius who is best in sports, academics, music, dance, art and everything we can think of. I feel, Private schools and government schools have the same basic curriculum, activities and sports may differ, only the standard of education is to be brought to the same level. Quality better, results way better.

I personally do not want Cherith to get into any international school. I want him to be in a school where he studies and learns manners, where he has experiences and activities that mould his character, where he makes friends who have a good impact on his life, where he learns the importance of basic needs that are so difficult for people to get, where he realises that life is worth living and not wasting in cribbing for things he does not have, where he explores and finds what is best for him, who he truly is. In short, I want him to be a good human being who helps people, makes them smile and respects women (attributes that are going extinct).

Watching the movie 'Hindi Medium' has calmed my tension to a great amount. I request everyone to watch it. One, because all of us have been a part of this education system. Two, as parents we require a clear idea of what we want for our children. Let us just nurture our kids like flowers. Give them the needed light, water and food. Let them bloom on their own. Let them take the road chosen for them. Enjoy the journey, make mistakes, create memories and have no regret about anything at the end of it all.

In the words of Mario Puzo and The Godfather "Everyone has only one destiny". I am of the opinion that all of us will eventually get there. Sooner or later...


Cheers!
God Bless!!

CHS

Anniversary celebration...

Celebrated 4th wedding anniversary this sunday. It was a day out with family and I could not ask for anything more. Hubby got me a beautiful bouquet of blue orchids which something I dint expect. We started off from home after breakfast and reached the resort within an hour. We spent a few minutes at the kids park watching Cherith play on the spring duckie and playing the slide. Me and Sany played on see saw while Bhabhi and mom enjoyed the swings. After a few minutes there, we took over the garden area and went back to childhood playing lock and key and throwball.

Later, me, hubby, jiju, bro and cherith took a dip in the clear water of the pool. I loved watching cherith play splash in the water. He also enjoyed sitting on hubby and bro's shoulder walking through the pool and I was amused at my incapability to swim. After a delicious lunch, we went to the basement indoor games area and played badminton and table tennis. Back into the garden area, we got into playing blindfold and I must admit we all enjoyed it the most.

You might be wondering why this elaborate description of the day out. Well, just to remind myself and all of us of the priceless gems that are are with us and go unnoticed.

Honestly, I did not expect any gift from hubby, that was a really pleasant surprise. No matter how flourishing our relationships are, a simple gift works as a rejuvenation for a tired body. A few flowers are a reminder of the tenderness and care that they require and just like a bouquet of flowers, relationships also need acceptance and surrender, only then will they blossom.

The kids of this age are no close to what we used to be. They are into the gadgets even before their birth. We have to explain to them the importance of physical games. Gilli danda, lagori, lattu and marbles are like ancient fictitious games to them. However, no matter how many facilities we give our children, they enjoy the swings and see saws and slides with utmost joy.

We have vehicles, trains and flights to travel. But a drive with loved ones with chitchat and soothing music is nothing less than medicine to the soul. Even day dreaming or a few minutes in the pool all by yourself works like magic on a stressed brain. No matter how much we achieve in lives, fulfilment is when we spend moments with ourselves.

We may have climbed mountains or run marathons, we may have been in touch with friends from college and school. Meeting once in a while, going through the pranks we played and reliving the stunts are nothing but invaluable. No matter how wealthy we become, priceless games of the childhood bring us alive again.

And the one thing that we all know but barely acknowledge is the presence of the few special people who make our world. These are the unseen pillars of our infrastructure, the pebbles in the jar, the few blockbusters of the year, the few notes we save for the rainy day. No matter how many friends we have on social media or on phones, our family and a very few friends are the ones who stand by us in the true tests of life.

Thank you all making that one day a part of my "Best memories". Lots of love...

Cheers!
God bless!!

CHS

Melting moments..

Like all the Normal couples, me and hubby too have little arguments about nothing. I admit I start them but when he says or does something that hits my nerve, the plug in my head kind of fuses out. Usually the reason is his ignorance. For instance, I'm saying something and he either walks away listening or does not respond.

I'm sure we all have had these kind of things with parents/ siblings/ kids. But we get more hurt when it happens with our spouse. Yesterday was one such day. I was asking hubby something and he simply said "I don't know" and cut me. I was determined not to talk to him again. Later, he was having dinner and passed on some sweet he was having. I dint look at him. "kya hua?" he asked n I burst out "I was talking to you, cant you reply properly even once?" He made some faces and continued eating looking at the tv. My fuse was out!

Cherith went to sleep early at night and after that there was silence. He fiddled with my phone for a moment and gave it to me when he noticed I was staring the ceiling waiting for my phone. I took it, put on the earphones and got back to the movie that we both had left midway. I gestured to him if he wants to watch it (still no talk) and he put on his earphones (no response verbally either).

The movie resumed and after about 20 minutes I heard snores. He had slept and now my fuse was up for a short circuit. I simply pulled his earphones and continued watching. After the amazing movie was over, I looked at Cherith, sound asleep and gave him a kiss. I turned to hubby and he was sleeping like Cherith too. My heart went out to him. He works all day, may be having numerous issues to look at and deal with and why do I add on?

I always know that moments pass away quickly and I don't want to loose the ones I can spend with him. The arguments happen only when that fear of loosing out that time takes over my rational thinking. Looking at him now, sleeping like a child it seemed the most fulfilling thing. The best way to end my day watching my babies sleep in peace.

This morning however, I was on my chores and when he woke up I told him "Main kal jaa rahi hu" "Abhi pahucha du" he asked. "Uski zaroorat nahi" I was pretentious. "Aapne 15 bola tha, kal kyu? "Its 14!" I reminded. "Oh itni jaldi 14 ho gaya." he got up to take a shower. "Main wapas hi nahi aaungi. aap araam se rahiyega" I hit the last line to get into some pep talk with him. "Main lene aa jaunga, tension mat lo" he walked off leaving me smiling.

He never says anything really to get me angry, nor does he let my stupid irritation stay for long.  He doesn't take me out often or does not bring gifts. Sometimes a chocolate, sometimes sweet words but the killer is his witty, humorous lines and I'm head over heels all over again! That's the real him, no make up, no lies, no flattery, just raw feelings that say "Be with me forever".

I try to motivate people but when I'm low, he is my inspiration. My positive thoughts come from him. My energy, my passion, my dreams have him in the lead. He is like this perfect masala for a tricky dish as me. Never lets me get and overdose of him so the boredom never creeps in. "Nazar lag jaayegi" he says when we are too happy. "You are not the best, but the best of the lot made available to me" I reply teasingly and it goes on...

I'm blessed to have him as my partner in crime, my perfect balance, my companion for life. I won't thank him (that might get to his head) but I thank God everyday for sparing him for me. The moments of our lives melt like an ice cream and I'm fortunate and blissful to be spending these melting moments with him.

Cheers!
God bless!!

Love...
CHS

The secret source...

I have just been a victim to a painful experience in the last week. A small lump turned infectious and the paining thing landed me up at the table of a doctor who was keen on separating it from me come what may!

Even after a shot of anesthesia, the blade gave an immense trauma and I screamed. Those were the loudest screeches that came out of me for the first time in my life. I was being comforted by Hubby who was right beside me, holding my hand, watching the doctor do his quick mini surgery. He continuously said, its over, almost cleared and that was assuring. But the pain came back the very moment I felt the blade pricking deeper in the back of my neck as the root was being attacked and extracted.

The nurses there spoke to each other asking how I gave birth to Cherith. Hubby said it was by surgery and the senior one exclaimed "Ah! that's why she doesn't know pain". I was furious at that time but kept shouting "Stop it! I cant take it any more. Please just don't" I felt I would faint any moment. Well it was over in about fifteen minutes but the pain I went through unimaginable.

After I came home and was relieved of the lump bothering me since months, I was amazed. That was some pain I thought I could never take. Yes, I shouted and troubled the doctor, entertained the nurses and scared a few patients away but I was startled at the strength that seemed to have come from some hidden bank. Like a secret source that was within me and I did not know.

I thought about all the people I know and the extra ordinary things done by each one of them and realized all of us have this secret source hidden deep within us. A treasure of patience, tolerence, perseverance, power and many such qualities that we think never existed in us. They don't show up on the ordinary days but when the need arises, they spring up and astonish us. We go beyond what we can gather and outperform ourselves unbelievably. 

Usually we have boundaries set for ourselves, the ones that define us, the ones that we do not show others but know deep inside that this is the limit. Once that limit is reached we either give in or give up. But the creation of God is nothing but ineffable. God has put in such powers into us that we don't know. Wonder how sometimes some miraculous zeal makes us do marvelous things? Its not magic, that energy, that vigour has been in there since our being, but did we ever notice?

We all have uncommon talents, qualities and capabilities but are also blessed with this unrevealed abundant spirit that can prove prolific in the most testing times. So the next time you think this is the end of your tolerance, you can not go any further with a task or this is the limit of your performance, check the interiors for that special energy and Unleash it!

Cheers!!
God bless!


CHS.