I am special!!

Apne muh Miya mitthu. Self praise is donkey's praise..

The title will sure make you think that about me. But trust me, this one comes purely from very pleasant incidents.

Mom Papa recently moved into our new home and I got another opportunity to stay home for two weeks. We had busy days and nights working and shifting. After as much as I could help bhabhi, I had to come back to marathahalli (apna ghar).

While saying the usual goodbyes, I went to bhabhi and said take care bhabhi, see you. She hugged me with tearful eyes and I had to cheer her up. "Bhabhi sasural main jaa rahi hu aur aap ro rahe ho. I'll come back soon don't worry. " I quickly moved away to control my tears.

I called one of my friends on diwali and he said I was just thinking about you. "What made you think about me?" I asked. "Today is Diwali, it just came to my mind that I did not call and wish you"

A long lost friend suddenly contacted me and I was overwhelmed. "Where have you been?" I asked "I'm here" he said. (The last I met and spoke to him was before my wedding)

I received a picture from him today and I downloaded it guessing what it could be. I got a cheerful shock as I looked at a wooden keychain with an initial. "You still have this?" I asked him.
"... The one and the only ... from the one and the only ... for the one and the only ..." He replied with a smile..

In a flash, I was in Rajasthan where I got that keychain from. I recollected picking a few up for very good friends of mine and wondered if any of them still had them. But this fellow had stored it well.

A few months ago I had a funful day out with the one I shared my childhood with. Anju got married more than 10 years ago and I had not seen her since. Meeting her two kids, talking about our little home scandals was a real stress buster.

She called me when she got back home and told me how excited she was when she showed my picture to her people. She's also displayed small gifts I had taken for her and the kids. Her happiness was so evident it filled my heart with joy.

Mom was unwell and I took two days off to stay with her. With cherith around, she was to get better sooner. I teased bhabhi I'll get back the same night and she called bro.

"Don't come just to show your face from 20 km away, stay atleast for a night. I still have to play with cherith" and after a few more words of intended trashing from Chetan, I told him I was staying.

I just have a broad smile on my face as I write about all these little instances. It is indeed an inordinate feeling to have a positive impact on people's life. Having a special place in their hearts is a rare feat I have achieved.

If a friend possesses a negligible gift for years in the same condition you gave it, if people wait for your arrival and get disheartened by your departure, if someone thinks of you during happy days and if a few memories made with you go into the "Box of souvenirs" in my opinion that is one fruitful life.

So when you are having a bad day or you are upset with the turn of life's events, think about those people who love to have you around. You may not notice it but some people do keep you in a very special area of their heart.

You stay there irrespective of the distance, age or years that seperate you. They may not announce it, you have to feel it.

So fear not, because life will continually throw tantrums at you, but you have to remind yourself that lord has given us this life. You are obviously worth a lot.

Say to yourself " I am Special" This realisation will tare away the gloom and brighten up your life. The sunshine spread by such memories will never fade.

Be special.

Cheers!
God bless!!

CHS

A Rakhi dedication...

Long time ago, I lived with my uncle away from my parents and siblings. I was totally unaware of the things I had been missing. At 13, I reunited with my family and spent few years with them before I got married.

Every year that has passed by since then has strengthened the bond with me and my siblings. I had thought I hadn't really missed anything. I was proven wrong last year.

My father in law left us last on the day of rakhi and we will not celebrate it anymore. It did not feel like much has changed until today had arrived.

I got up this morning with a heavy heart and a turbulent brain. I seemed to have a series of short scenes making it a continual dream. Some images clear others blur. After calming myself down I realised that it may be the reaction of a tired brain..

I have been thinking about how unwell dad was in the last few months of his existence. At the same time I was also thinking about how I missed tieing Rakhi to my only brother.

Strange how things we long for are literally produced by our brain as if real. I can't do much about the Rakhi but now as I look at the years I was away from family, I feel regret as I have lost so many memory making moments.

No qarrels for toys, no pulling each other's hair. No keeping each other's secrets, no becoming the comforting bear. No pillow fights, no hiding chocolates. No bringing duly gifts, no calling wierd names.

Collect all your childhood memories together and go through them, I have not got any of those. And today more than missing Rakhi celebration, I miss being with my siblings..

A Rakhi can not define the depth of the bond we share, the following words convey a portion of what I feel right now..

Sany, Bhavna di and bhai, the three of you not only are an inseparable part of my life, but are so integral to it that I can not imagine being anyone else's sister. I'm immensely blessed and wish you be blessed all your life.

This rakhi and the following may not see us together in festivity but I promise each one of you that you will find me by your side even when the whole world thinks otherwise. We may grow old with each year but I pray our bond stays young forever and we stay the little kins as ever.

Love you lots always.
Miss you!

Chiklet/ chinks/ chinu

Partners in crime!!

I have been exposed to a bitter reality of union offlate. It made me ponder if it happens with all people who have known their partners for long years before tieing the knot.

Imagine this scenario.. You and your spouse may have been classmates at college, may have been friends or you have been head over heels in love and yes the universe may have conspired to bring you two together..

In any case, you may have spent a few hours a day with each other at college.. may have known a few habits that make you, a few likes, dislikes, preferences and ambitions.

When you were engaged, you might have enjoyed fruits of courtship talking about what you like about each other, how you miss the other, how you long to be together, how you see your lives as one, how every silly moment becomes a memory, making promises you will carry throughout. You assure each other to care, comfort, love, never to hurt and fight.

As days pass, you may have caught each other's eyes randomly at your wedding functions.. Then the big day, your wedding is witnessed by family and friends blessing and teasing you.

Then the first few months where the girl is trying to fit in, make every body happy praying people have good opinions about her. The guy supporting her, stealing romantic moments in between the efforts, reassuring her all's going good and he will always be by her side if anything ever went wrong.

Then after all the traditional turmoil settles, all the questions about your new married life are put to pause. You two are literally on your own. Apparently no one interferes in your matters and whatever it is between you two is purely no one else's interest.

The excitement swaps places with routine. Cooking, cleaning, going to work, earning the bucks, nurturing, making provisions takes over all the promises and life becomes mundane.

This is the time you start showing expectations rather than fulfilling them. You ask the other for favours instead of doing them. You remind the other of the promises that still need to be fulfilled.. You put across what you don't like in each other while the attributes appear to lie low.

As "we time" takes a  toll, you long to spend a few minutes with together. You pray to get a break so you can rejuvenate. All emotions seem to die in the midst of arguments. One single person's deeds, actions or words ruin you emotional sanity. Life looks like something you never imagined with this very person.

Whenever a chance comes your way and you do get a quick time out, you look around at others and think what a happy couple they are!! Something you had always wanted your relationship to look like.

Hey dear friend, everybody's life is the same. Just the reasons and causes are different but every relationship has a phase where priorities change and you may not be top of the list.

When you had made the decision of spending your lives together, you lived with your own families, with people who had lived with you day in and out. These people know a major chunk of you.

Now that you are with this person, the process has to be repeated all over again. The years of proximity does not matter. It's more like voting for governnent. They make a lot of promises and make themselves look profitable to us but only when it comes to power do you actually know what it is capable of.

Your prosperity and downfall is highly dependant on who you choose. Now that it's ruling (your life) you have to put up with shortcomings citing the greater good. There may also be emergencies in a few case but eventually ache din aa hi jayenge.
Only in this case, you can not change the government every five years..

This lifetime coaliton means riding through the road of life ignoring the potholes of faults. Exchanging weakness and drawbacks with positivity and fulfilment. Finding answers after fights, introspecting if your doing enough to live upto to promises.

Whatever be the situation, just hold on. When this tornado of what you expected of each other passes away, you will be neutral. Then whatever you do will be accepted with gratitude, little joys cherished and memories of lifetime created...

Meanwhile I want to steal away some busy days from the schedule of my partner in crime. Can I have details of some holiday destination...??

Cheers!
God bless!!

CHS

Its time for GST..

All of us including me have got a good dose of everything about GST.. What it means, how it works, what are the slabs, how it is going to clear the complex systems and enable benefits and growth. News channels and newspaper are feeding us enough. I am not going to elaborate further.

Off late I have witnessed some things that I dislike happening close to me. A girl married for a couple of years has not had a baby and as usual become a matter of everybody's so called concern. "Mandir leke jao, pooja karao, doctor ko dikhao, tests karao." Everybody is ready with a question for her mother in law and a silent taunt for her.

That is not the problem. The actual problem is nobody cares to talk to her and find out what she thinks or feels. Its not that she can't have a baby. It is just a  matter of the couple being ready for the big responsibility. Simple isn't it? But this simple thing is so complicated for our old ladies (and some of the younger lot) to understand that all they believe only some miracle can help.

It is always presumed that if there is any problem in the marriage, it might be the wife. If she is not having a baby, the lady is to be blamed. If their is a rift in the family, the daughter in law may be responsible. Husband behaves differently at home, might a female colleague. Undoubtedly reforms and changes have come but anti female notions continue to handicap mindsets.

The most disturbing idea that agonizes my soul is "ek ladka toh hona chahiye". I agree you would say that you have a liberal family and all that but I'm sure you would find one person somewhere around the mother of a girl child having this very thought. Take a test if you don't believe me. I am a living example...

I had a c section so I was well aware of what was happening on that operation table I dreaded. As soon as I heard the first cry of my baby, a tear rolled out and when I asked my doctor if it was a girl, she said its a boy and another tear rolled down my eyes. One was for the contentment that my child was safe (I had some complications) and the other was for it was Not a Girl!!

Even months later when people met Cherith, they were not happy that he was in good health or was a good learner but happier that he was a boy. One such aunty told me "Ek ladka ho gaya, ab aage jo bhi ho chalega" I could not resist asking her "Aunty ek ladki ho jaati toh??" "Na beta, ek ladka toh hona hi chahiye..." I walked off from the place. I just can not comprehend such opinions.

This is not a debate about the importance of the stronger sex, it is simply about the non significance of the gender that is the reason for the creation of us all, that too by the same gender. In my view, it is now time for GST! Girls Shatter Traditions!

Auntyjis.. First of all, our personal matters are none of your business. Second, why are you all so adamant on creating problems where none exist? Third and the most repeated request by people of my age; Please give advice only and only when asked for. Your uninvited worry not only disturbs us but also creates unnecessary nuisance. I also want to add a four; muster some courage and talk to the men and check if there is any problem that side.

Girls like me a screaming in their minds to all these women to just be a human. A real woman cares not curses, she would understand not underestimate, she would have a heart not hurt another, she would try to find the truth and help rather than spreading lies and creating hell. If you can not do anything of that sort, you are not to be called a woman. There is nothing wrong in telling you what you are doing is not encouraged.

We are not interested in becoming your pets. We do not aim to please you by doing things we do not believe in and We are not at all willing to enter your good books. Just let us be. Let us do things our way, live our lives hassle free. Yes we have problems and would want your guidance but only on the terms that you genuinely help and not create chaos. Your hurtful comments and nosy worries are so not welcome.

Thank You!

Cheers!
God Bless!!

CHS

App made shopaholics

GST implementations is round the corner and Me and all my cousins were subject to strict jurisdiction especially with regard to shopping. Thanks to the efforts and endurance of the people at Myntra. They not only pleased but also tempted us. The end of reason sale was announced and bro soon created a group so that all of us could benefit as much as possible.

Then there were more baits.. Book a slot before the sale begins so you do not miss out. It kept all of us busy viewing and choosing the items we would like to buy. The day came and the lists were getting bigger and diverse. Our slots started and all of us plunged. Bro said my performance as starters was not bad as I shopped for about 5000 rupees. The group bought products worth nearly 40000 rupees by the end of the day.

The actual sale was to begin the following day. Hubby came home and asked me what kept me stuck to my phone since the last two days. I took his phone, downloaded the app and joined him to the group and he stared. After we were done with all the chores for the day, we settled and he asked "Kya lia aapne?"
"I have shopped for all three of us" I replied while still checking what other good stuff is in store.

He took a look at my phone and said "puma shoes bhi off mein hai?" and I gave him a stare. "Everything you can imagine is for an off." "Toh mere liye shoes dekho na" "You should have told me before na, I have been asking if you need anything. Anyway come lets check" and we started off again.

We bought a few tops for me and a pair of shoes for him and my total amount spent reached 7500 rupees. Out of curiosity I took a look at the group's total and my jaw dropped. 70000!!

Sale started next day and there were hourly deals with more discounts and cashbacks. I still kept checking but did not buy. I realized how easily we were all tempted in helping the brands empty their stuff at good prices before the new tax system was rolled out. Just four days to go and even after the end of reason sale ended, myntra still hosts Pre GST sale for the ones who missed out. I checked the app again and the offers remained the same but with a different name.

So this was the reality. We were all given baits and we also enjoyed taking them. Its normal human behavior to save and when our eyes and ears come across a word called discount or off, it seems almost mandatory for us to atleast check it out if not buy and then buy something if not many. It is inexplicably itchy and we cant help much.

There may be stuff that we dont like, can be exchanged. Dont get what you imagined, it can be returned and amount refunded. All in all its a pleasant situation and I had a great shopping experience without regrets for the first time!!

For now I congratulate my group to have made savings of over 57000 rupees while spending a little more than 70000. Also Kudos to the portals who are doing a brilliant job. Converting stock to sales in an ambience where shopkeepers sit idle waiting for a few sales a day. The endless efforts of pushing the products through to the customers in my words is kaabil-e-tareef!!

So cheers to the Pre GST Splurge and all the App made Shopaholics!!

Hip hip Hurray!!
Cheers!!

God bless!!

The Human Core...

The everyday newspaper and news channel reports are proving quite disturbing to me. So much so that I avoid them as  much as possible. Reports of molestations, murders, thefts, suicides, killings the animosity doesn't seem to end. At this point I'm even ashamed of using that term related to animals. I agree animals fight and kill but that is purely for survival butthe current human actions are no way reasonable.

How can one understand why a woman is raped? Her clothes may be provocative, but what about women clad in sarees/ burkha? Her actions may hint the other that she is available, what about the ones minding their own business? She might have refused a proposal. What about the one who has happily married a man and just wants him to understand she is not ready to be close as yet? I give up on finding the reason. 

How can you comprehend why little children are subject to molestation? Do they have any knowledge of what being a girl or boy really is? Aren't they naive creations that only spread happiness when around? Is it okay to turn their sunshine days to dark horrific nightmares scarring their lives forever?

Why are people agreeing to massacre thousands and lakhs and more in the name of religion, freedom or for any such reason. I'm sure God rather nature, would have created us to live and prosper in harmony, not kill one another and destroy god's own creation. It sounds like one hand is cutting the other or one eye blinding the other. One man with a weapon has the audacity to think he has the power of the supreme and that he can take away lives of innocent others. Has he not wondered the same can happen to him? 

How can young ones abandon older members? Families are like the permanent gifts. We have to nourish them with respect, love, compassion. You would agree when I say that our elders become children as they grow old. Then why do we forget all they have done for us and remind them what we do for them? After all we can never equal their sacrifices. Can't we just accept that it is fortunate that we have them around. After all, would we be here if not for them?

What is the reason for us slaughter animals? We are slaughtering trees as well in the name of development, ignoring the adverse effects that we have to face because of such actions. When the jungle is non existent and the Lion finds no food, it will come to humans but would he ask for it to be served in a plate? The forests have been our guards against erosion and floods but are we adept to even stand during such calamities let alone saving others.

I may be sounding conservative but yes I am of the opinion that we as humans are learning everything and forgetting the core of what we are. We are forgetting humanity. We ask for our rights ignoring duties, we help but to get something in return, we give to get something back now or in future.We eat junk at young age to starve at old age, we stay in nuclear families to teach our children the importance of space while abstaining our life givers of the space they make after lifelong efforts.

I can go on putting the thoughts of my mind in words in this one. I would just stop with these words from a song that hubby was listening to. "Tu hindu banega na musalman banega. Insaan ki aulad hai insaan banega." This song was written decades ago but is perfectly relevant today. I simply request everyone to spread this message to anyone you know.

Educate your children to your ability, Give them all the luxuries you never got and above all teach him to be human and what humans are meant to do. Being human...


Hoping a better future...
God Bless!
CHS

Sooner or Later...

I have been worried about cherith's education off late and me and hubby have been having a lot of discussion about the same. I know he is still a year and a half and it's early but the tension comes from the view that comes from near my home in Marathahalli.

There are around four to five schools on the main road that connects home and many more in an around Ring road. It seems almost like a buffet of schools to me, all serving hot offers to please. All giving their positives to attract as many children as possible. That also reminds me of the sight of kids travelling with heavy bags on their shoulders, travelling in buses, looking drained as if they have been labouring in a factory unit. I am not questioning the working of any institution, but I don't remember getting so drained during my school days unless it was a day trip.

One of my college friends sent me a link of an article about the selection processes in Yale University. It's like a league where candidates are shortlisted on the basis of ranks and personal qualities. What astonished me was the categories that candidates are put in. 'Dev A' for students who have rich donors, 'MUSD' for musician with highest degree of promise and many more such abbreviated phrases that we cannot think of.

Today, the games that kids play, the exposure they get and the thinking that they develop is already complex and such systems make them nothing less than zombies. Success is like a drug that is induced into prospects by such elite institutions and the fear of failure terrifies them to such an extent that they get disoriented. They do not want even the possibility of error and as a result, they have no time to indulge in any activity that they enjoy or that connects them to their soul.

We are of the opinion that private schools are better but the other schools are in a bad shape because no one is actually bothered. Who wants to send their child to a government school? Who wants their child to talk in Hindi. Who wants a kid to get average score? All of us want a genius who is best in sports, academics, music, dance, art and everything we can think of. I feel, Private schools and government schools have the same basic curriculum, activities and sports may differ, only the standard of education is to be brought to the same level. Quality better, results way better.

I personally do not want Cherith to get into any international school. I want him to be in a school where he studies and learns manners, where he has experiences and activities that mould his character, where he makes friends who have a good impact on his life, where he learns the importance of basic needs that are so difficult for people to get, where he realises that life is worth living and not wasting in cribbing for things he does not have, where he explores and finds what is best for him, who he truly is. In short, I want him to be a good human being who helps people, makes them smile and respects women (attributes that are going extinct).

Watching the movie 'Hindi Medium' has calmed my tension to a great amount. I request everyone to watch it. One, because all of us have been a part of this education system. Two, as parents we require a clear idea of what we want for our children. Let us just nurture our kids like flowers. Give them the needed light, water and food. Let them bloom on their own. Let them take the road chosen for them. Enjoy the journey, make mistakes, create memories and have no regret about anything at the end of it all.

In the words of Mario Puzo and The Godfather "Everyone has only one destiny". I am of the opinion that all of us will eventually get there. Sooner or later...


Cheers!
God Bless!!

CHS

Anniversary celebration...

Celebrated 4th wedding anniversary this sunday. It was a day out with family and I could not ask for anything more. Hubby got me a beautiful bouquet of blue orchids which something I dint expect. We started off from home after breakfast and reached the resort within an hour. We spent a few minutes at the kids park watching Cherith play on the spring duckie and playing the slide. Me and Sany played on see saw while Bhabhi and mom enjoyed the swings. After a few minutes there, we took over the garden area and went back to childhood playing lock and key and throwball.

Later, me, hubby, jiju, bro and cherith took a dip in the clear water of the pool. I loved watching cherith play splash in the water. He also enjoyed sitting on hubby and bro's shoulder walking through the pool and I was amused at my incapability to swim. After a delicious lunch, we went to the basement indoor games area and played badminton and table tennis. Back into the garden area, we got into playing blindfold and I must admit we all enjoyed it the most.

You might be wondering why this elaborate description of the day out. Well, just to remind myself and all of us of the priceless gems that are are with us and go unnoticed.

Honestly, I did not expect any gift from hubby, that was a really pleasant surprise. No matter how flourishing our relationships are, a simple gift works as a rejuvenation for a tired body. A few flowers are a reminder of the tenderness and care that they require and just like a bouquet of flowers, relationships also need acceptance and surrender, only then will they blossom.

The kids of this age are no close to what we used to be. They are into the gadgets even before their birth. We have to explain to them the importance of physical games. Gilli danda, lagori, lattu and marbles are like ancient fictitious games to them. However, no matter how many facilities we give our children, they enjoy the swings and see saws and slides with utmost joy.

We have vehicles, trains and flights to travel. But a drive with loved ones with chitchat and soothing music is nothing less than medicine to the soul. Even day dreaming or a few minutes in the pool all by yourself works like magic on a stressed brain. No matter how much we achieve in lives, fulfilment is when we spend moments with ourselves.

We may have climbed mountains or run marathons, we may have been in touch with friends from college and school. Meeting once in a while, going through the pranks we played and reliving the stunts are nothing but invaluable. No matter how wealthy we become, priceless games of the childhood bring us alive again.

And the one thing that we all know but barely acknowledge is the presence of the few special people who make our world. These are the unseen pillars of our infrastructure, the pebbles in the jar, the few blockbusters of the year, the few notes we save for the rainy day. No matter how many friends we have on social media or on phones, our family and a very few friends are the ones who stand by us in the true tests of life.

Thank you all making that one day a part of my "Best memories". Lots of love...

Cheers!
God bless!!

CHS

Melting moments..

Like all the Normal couples, me and hubby too have little arguments about nothing. I admit I start them but when he says or does something that hits my nerve, the plug in my head kind of fuses out. Usually the reason is his ignorance. For instance, I'm saying something and he either walks away listening or does not respond.

I'm sure we all have had these kind of things with parents/ siblings/ kids. But we get more hurt when it happens with our spouse. Yesterday was one such day. I was asking hubby something and he simply said "I don't know" and cut me. I was determined not to talk to him again. Later, he was having dinner and passed on some sweet he was having. I dint look at him. "kya hua?" he asked n I burst out "I was talking to you, cant you reply properly even once?" He made some faces and continued eating looking at the tv. My fuse was out!

Cherith went to sleep early at night and after that there was silence. He fiddled with my phone for a moment and gave it to me when he noticed I was staring the ceiling waiting for my phone. I took it, put on the earphones and got back to the movie that we both had left midway. I gestured to him if he wants to watch it (still no talk) and he put on his earphones (no response verbally either).

The movie resumed and after about 20 minutes I heard snores. He had slept and now my fuse was up for a short circuit. I simply pulled his earphones and continued watching. After the amazing movie was over, I looked at Cherith, sound asleep and gave him a kiss. I turned to hubby and he was sleeping like Cherith too. My heart went out to him. He works all day, may be having numerous issues to look at and deal with and why do I add on?

I always know that moments pass away quickly and I don't want to loose the ones I can spend with him. The arguments happen only when that fear of loosing out that time takes over my rational thinking. Looking at him now, sleeping like a child it seemed the most fulfilling thing. The best way to end my day watching my babies sleep in peace.

This morning however, I was on my chores and when he woke up I told him "Main kal jaa rahi hu" "Abhi pahucha du" he asked. "Uski zaroorat nahi" I was pretentious. "Aapne 15 bola tha, kal kyu? "Its 14!" I reminded. "Oh itni jaldi 14 ho gaya." he got up to take a shower. "Main wapas hi nahi aaungi. aap araam se rahiyega" I hit the last line to get into some pep talk with him. "Main lene aa jaunga, tension mat lo" he walked off leaving me smiling.

He never says anything really to get me angry, nor does he let my stupid irritation stay for long.  He doesn't take me out often or does not bring gifts. Sometimes a chocolate, sometimes sweet words but the killer is his witty, humorous lines and I'm head over heels all over again! That's the real him, no make up, no lies, no flattery, just raw feelings that say "Be with me forever".

I try to motivate people but when I'm low, he is my inspiration. My positive thoughts come from him. My energy, my passion, my dreams have him in the lead. He is like this perfect masala for a tricky dish as me. Never lets me get and overdose of him so the boredom never creeps in. "Nazar lag jaayegi" he says when we are too happy. "You are not the best, but the best of the lot made available to me" I reply teasingly and it goes on...

I'm blessed to have him as my partner in crime, my perfect balance, my companion for life. I won't thank him (that might get to his head) but I thank God everyday for sparing him for me. The moments of our lives melt like an ice cream and I'm fortunate and blissful to be spending these melting moments with him.

Cheers!
God bless!!

Love...
CHS

The secret source...

I have just been a victim to a painful experience in the last week. A small lump turned infectious and the paining thing landed me up at the table of a doctor who was keen on separating it from me come what may!

Even after a shot of anesthesia, the blade gave an immense trauma and I screamed. Those were the loudest screeches that came out of me for the first time in my life. I was being comforted by Hubby who was right beside me, holding my hand, watching the doctor do his quick mini surgery. He continuously said, its over, almost cleared and that was assuring. But the pain came back the very moment I felt the blade pricking deeper in the back of my neck as the root was being attacked and extracted.

The nurses there spoke to each other asking how I gave birth to Cherith. Hubby said it was by surgery and the senior one exclaimed "Ah! that's why she doesn't know pain". I was furious at that time but kept shouting "Stop it! I cant take it any more. Please just don't" I felt I would faint any moment. Well it was over in about fifteen minutes but the pain I went through unimaginable.

After I came home and was relieved of the lump bothering me since months, I was amazed. That was some pain I thought I could never take. Yes, I shouted and troubled the doctor, entertained the nurses and scared a few patients away but I was startled at the strength that seemed to have come from some hidden bank. Like a secret source that was within me and I did not know.

I thought about all the people I know and the extra ordinary things done by each one of them and realized all of us have this secret source hidden deep within us. A treasure of patience, tolerence, perseverance, power and many such qualities that we think never existed in us. They don't show up on the ordinary days but when the need arises, they spring up and astonish us. We go beyond what we can gather and outperform ourselves unbelievably. 

Usually we have boundaries set for ourselves, the ones that define us, the ones that we do not show others but know deep inside that this is the limit. Once that limit is reached we either give in or give up. But the creation of God is nothing but ineffable. God has put in such powers into us that we don't know. Wonder how sometimes some miraculous zeal makes us do marvelous things? Its not magic, that energy, that vigour has been in there since our being, but did we ever notice?

We all have uncommon talents, qualities and capabilities but are also blessed with this unrevealed abundant spirit that can prove prolific in the most testing times. So the next time you think this is the end of your tolerance, you can not go any further with a task or this is the limit of your performance, check the interiors for that special energy and Unleash it!

Cheers!!
God bless!


CHS.

How it starts...

This is a spin off of the last one. Well I realized that the connection with OCD is way more far fetched in our lives as compared to the that of our older generations. It gave me a reason to write more..

First up, the obsession. Our generation seems to be the most gifted in terms of facilities. The more time passes by, the more easy it gets for us to get our hands on any kind of service, product and information. A click on the phone and an all new world is at our hands. This has also made us all get obsessed... Getting our favourite product, getting others views on our pictures, counting the likes, connecting to someone we really want to, always looking at the phone for an update. It is often an unreasonable idea or emotion but we slowly just give in.

Next, there is always a compulsion for us to do things a particular way, act in a certain style, keep our belongings in a particular fashion. The beginning is just normal but these turn into major abnormalities unseen on the outside and very much prevalent in our brains. It impacts our habits, thoughts and behaviour and the saddest part is that we continue to feel everything we are doing is alright.

I wont elaborate on the disorder part, but would sure urge you to think of it not as a disease but just a condition that can be rectified sooner and more easily than thought possible. You know what the solution is? Accepting change. The one thing that we know but we don't accept.

Whether it is a change brought by a daughter-in-law in the house (in a son) or the change by a new employee, be it a change triggered by someone's actions / thoughts/ ideas or changes in rules introduced by the government. All changes face protests (loudly and silently) We sure can not cover the larger aspects here but personally, it is a sure thing to do.

Why cant we simply let things be? Let us just accept to give up on cleanliness for a day and just enjoy being with a loved one. Can't we just forget about the messed wardrobe and enjoy some alone time. Go on and enjoy your kid playing in the mud, tidy him after he has had a blast. Soak your hands into colours and make something incomprehensible and laugh about it. Some old stuff may give you nostalgia, an embarrassing picture or situation may turn to become a hilarious memory. Why arrange everything perfectly at your home, in your room or at office always? Its ok not be punctual always.

Get out of your comfort zone and try something new once in a couple of months. You would love the experience whatever be the outcome. Experiment with your wardrobe and you'd still stay beautiful/handsome. Indulge yourself into trying new foods and let your taste buds have a ball. Do anything that is just not you and you will have a story to tell your future generations. There is no reason to get hysterical about things if they don't go your way.

And finally, I still recommend living with a few imperfections (like I am)

Cheers!!
God Bless!!


CHS

OCD...

I have been watching a lot of web series in free time. Very gripping and intriguing stuff on Youtube I must say. One such series was a story of the wife of a neurosurgeon. I wont go into the story now but will go straight away to what triggered my thoughts for this article.

Scene: The wife is cleaning the window pane when the hubby enters. "What are you busy with?" he asks. "Have been trying to remove this mark using everything possible but it doesn't seem to get cleaned." she says frustrated. "You know it is called OCD." he tries to divert her. He goes on, "You know what leads to this Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?" he waits for her to respond but she does not. "The person always feels that there is something that is not right in their lives and they keep correcting other things to make things as right as possible"

This was enough to get my mind machine to start working. I'm sure Sany, Bhai, Jiju and Hubby will smile while reading this but we have a long term connection with OCD. It runs in our blood as heredity. I am an OCD person myself. I am not sure about the others but it quite applies on me. There is something in the back of mind that does not seem right and I tend to correct other things which might not be really incorrect.

I slept with this thought and the next morning was stunned to realize that this condition would only worsen with time and age. Also I doubt I have unknowingly and unwantedly passed some of it to Cherith. It scares me when I think what he would be correcting. Given the fact that I now know, I must concentrate on helping myself. What is it that is not right with me? Well I can count 10 things per day. But is that truly the question to be asked?

With all the things I write about and all the thoughts I share, I am clear that nothing is perfect. No situation, no time, no person, no relationship. If it was so, where would be the scope for variety? No surprises, no shocks, no experiments, no adventure, no success, no failure, no learning, no growth, no day different than one another.. In short it would be a spiceless stagnant life and who loves a life like that? So now I have decided to sometimes alter things as per situations and get altered sometimes.

To all the OCD's like me, Stop and think what you are losing while correcting that which is least important. I know it is difficult to suddenly change our habits but it is way better than suffering with some very serious issues later in life. Take a look around and you will find everybody will be short of something (according to your parameters) To hell with the parameters, they don't make us what we are. Our struggles and experiences do.

Imperfections may not always be unpleasant. Trust me on that. I am living with one since a while...

Cheers!
God Bless!!

CHS

 

In Love...

Sany asked me to watch a video named "In Your Arms" on youtube. Nice video, but the beginning of it intrigued me. Here goes the first scene...

Husband and wife on the dining table, looking at their respective plates, playing with the food, lost deep in thought. "I want to tell you something" both say together. Wife nods and asks the husband to go first. He says "We've known each other for 14 years and married for 11 years now. It was a love marriage but now there is no love in this marriage. I love someone else. She is my colleague at office. I want a divorce.

Rest of the story just went by and eventually the husband realizes he loves only his wife but I was taken by these words "I love someone else". Two questions that quickly popped up "Can love happen more than once?" "Can the love that brings two people together for life, ever be gone?"

The first on was answered yes by my mind instantly. After all SRK proved it in KKHH ;)
The second one took away couple of my moments as I pondered... I asked hubby if he had the answer to the second one and after a few minutes of thinking he snored. So I continued my the brainstorm for a few days...

First of all there is this "True love" tag that comes  with a relationship. I am of the opinion that there is no such thing as True love that happens only once. It is vastly subjective. Suppose you had a relationship but end up marrying someone else. You cannot say that what you had before marriage was the only true love. You cannot dismiss the Love care and support being put in by your spouse as just a relationship obligation. The thing that brings you together with another totally unknown soul cannot be anything less than true love.

Over the years with very little experience I have been able to answer this second question. I wont answer it though. These are some signs that might quite help to answer it.

• True love makes, not breaks. Love binds you together. Something that takes you away from your dreams, your friends, your dear ones can not be true love.
• You cannot be unsure about it. If something keeps you sceptical and you are unable to make your mind up, dump it.
• One that you are ashamed of can never be love. Its the world's most beautiful feeling. You  may not flaunt it but within you are proud of it.
• One that is monetary can not be love. Love asks for sacrifices but that is for the good of the relationship. But when it is measured in terms of money, its absurd.
• Love gives you strength. Hard to get through situations can be made a cakewalk by the mere presence of love.
• Love helps you rise. It may not give you wings to fly but it will also not bury you underground (I hope you get what I mean)
• In difficult situations, you always stand by your love. If you run away, you should run away forever!
• Love only blossoms, never fades away. It is for us to keep the shine going. If something bores you, you know what it is.

Now its upto you to guess the answer to the question. I just request you to think about these things and help yourself and anyone who needs help in matters of love...


Stay In Love.
Stay blessed.

Cheers!

CHS